tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post7432825603569478846..comments2023-10-22T03:16:31.189-06:00Comments on Recover Your Joy: Eyes Wide OpenLouise Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13522775693728655487noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post-38529339944865972422008-10-18T18:48:00.000-06:002008-10-18T18:48:00.000-06:00If we think about our childhood experiences in the...If we think about our childhood experiences in the schoolyard, we can remember incidents of bullying. Bullies targeted the most vulnerable kids, kids they perceived to be weaker and therefore inferior.<BR/><BR/>Most of us learned to act tough, to never cry, to fit in if at all possible. Otherwise, we’d be subjected to the humiliation of flying spitballs sticking in our hair or having our chair pulled out from under our behinds.<BR/><BR/>This happened all the time when I was a kid who didn't get picked on and didn't bully people either, even when it would have been rewarding to do so. I had plenty of fights with friends but hey, they were just as strong as myself. <BR/><BR/>There may be life lessons in examining how we reacted as kids because bullying has been around for a long, long time.<BR/><BR/>I figure you for one of those 'nurturing types' like myself. You probably rushed over to a victim with your first-aid kit and soothed their hurt feelings because you were willing to empathize with them. Now we're grown-ups and what choices do we make when we see vulnerable people being treated disrespectfully? Or people being bullied by narcissists who increase their aggression once their victim is on the ground?<BR/><BR/>I think we both have first-aid kits in hand, and the healing touch of compassion. We don’t even ask the question, “Who’s Problem is it?” We grab the band-aids and do whatever we can to get that person back on their feet.<BR/><BR/>Love ya back!<BR/>CarolynCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post-56283246717356253282008-10-18T06:45:00.000-06:002008-10-18T06:45:00.000-06:00CZ,You are such a woman of wisdom! A WOW and a WO...CZ,<BR/><BR/>You are such a woman of wisdom! A WOW and a WOW!<BR/><BR/>Evil is a word that always made me feel uncomfortable. Still does -- but I'm getting better at accepting its worth. Scott Peck's People of the Lie, was a bit step for me to read -- particularly when he speaks of our shadow side -- as you said, we're not all good all the time -- and not all bad all the time, but there are those who prefer to hideout in the shadows doing the bad they can cause they want what they want, real bad!<BR/><BR/>Nice to see you CZ -- can't wait till you come up here and visit the trees :)<BR/><BR/>And, yes, when it comes to homelessness, people can be rather harsh. I have found that for some, coming into the shelter, educating themselves, learning more -- helps. And, you have inspired me about what I will write this morning -- so read on MacDuff!<BR/><BR/>Love you!<BR/><BR/>LLouise Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13522775693728655487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post-74236147249064210672008-10-18T06:41:00.000-06:002008-10-18T06:41:00.000-06:00Yes Mark -- taking those paragraphs out for a more...Yes Mark -- taking those paragraphs out for a more general audience would be ideal.<BR/><BR/>Thanks!<BR/><BR/>LLouise Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13522775693728655487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post-1050917301617062792008-10-17T17:20:00.000-06:002008-10-17T17:20:00.000-06:00LG,if we take out the Conrad paragraphs and re-ord...LG,<BR/><BR/>if we take out the Conrad paragraphs and re-order it a bit, I think there is a very good upbeat motivational piece here . . <BR/><BR/>may I edit and publish on http://360boom.com ?<BR/><BR/>MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2273998760028140856.post-21881433738295254032008-10-17T17:07:00.000-06:002008-10-17T17:07:00.000-06:00I was told today that I had a 'bad buttitude' sinc...I was told today that I had a 'bad buttitude' since it was time for me to gripe about my weight AGAIN. I think it's a cycle at this point. <BR/><BR/>As long as I keep trying though, one day I'll wake up lighter than a dandelion and fly to Canada to visit a tree. I mean, a friend.<BR/><BR/>Louise, I have never been fond of calling people 'evil' or even thinking about evil as a possible explanation for people's behavior. Only recently have I started reading about Evil and how it's being defined with 21st Century terms.<BR/><BR/>You Wrote: "In Conrad's perspective, all people were born to be bad."<BR/><BR/>I heard the same story from the biggest N i've met in my life: that people were basically BAD at heart and had to be forced to be GOOD.<BR/><BR/>You see, that was so contrary to my perceptions of reality that I didn't take him seriously since I believed all people were good and wanted to be good. I discounted his self-revelation because whenever something sounds too wack-a-doo, we dismiss it rather than believe this person is actually SERIOUS about what they're saying.<BR/><BR/>He was telling me about himself and I was telling him about me and as our story goes to show: two wrongs don't make a right.<BR/><BR/>Some people are just plain BAD at heart; and some people are just plain GOOD at heart but all people are neither all the time. Had I known there were people who intentionally harmed others (because it gave them pleasure and power to do so), I'd not have been naive. Like a sitting duck I was. <BR/><BR/>Do some people intentionally and maliciously harm other people simply because they can?<BR/><BR/>YES. <BR/><BR/>Duh...I did not know that.<BR/><BR/>One more comment about the work you do with the homeless. I've noticed people's reactions to the vulnerable homeless people in our city. Some people empathize with them and are kind though avoid direct involvement. But some people become aggressive and brutish towards the homeless and I never figured out 'why'.<BR/><BR/>Recent studies on narcissism link vulnerability and aggression together. That really got me thinking!! It's a viable explanation for why some peole think "Homeless Jokes" are funny. Or any oppressed group joke is funny. It might also explain the STRANGE behavior some people exhibit towards the homeless and other vulnerable people. They become even more aggressive and cruel. <BR/><BR/>That never made sense to me my whole lifetime, but if I'm understanding psychological research correctly, this offers us an explanation.<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.com