The map of my heart

When I headed off to coach at Choices last week I carried with me a question from the Soul of a Pilgrim course I'm taking -- What does the 'map' of your heart look like?

As I sat in the room with the other coaches and all the trainees, listening and watching and witnessing miracles unfold throughout the week, I pondered the question about the map of my heart and Christine Valters Paintner's invitation to draw the map in the form of a mandala.

Yesterday, I sat down with my pastels and drew and coloured and as I worked on my map, gratitude flooded my senses and I was awash in its grace.

I have an amazing life. I love and am loved. I give and receive. I do and I am.

I laugh. I cry. I dance. I leap for joy and sometimes, I fall down.

And, as I did yesterday, Always I begin again.


Because coaching is such an intensive and rewarding experience, I didn't have time last week to touch my coursework. In the past, missing so many days my response might have been to say to myself -- What's the point? I don't need to do it. I've got so much to catch up on, I'll never get there. I may as well just forget about it. No point beating myself up trying to catch up....

The Map of  All the Piece of My Heart

Instead, I let the map of my heart that had been creating itself all week bubble to the top and set to work where I left off on Tuesday. Engaging in the process in a way that ensures the steps I take do not skip any aspect of the journey.

I don't want to miss what I didn't do. I want to do it all to ensure I savour each step, each moment, each bit of learning and deepening within me.

I could have picked up the coursework from the point where I am, but that is the joy of an online course! I don't have to do it according to the days of the course, I can be a couple of days behind and still receive great value.

It was a gift. To know -- it doesn't matter that I've missed a few days. What matters is that I don't let self-defeating games, or limiting beliefs keep me from re-engaging in a meaningful way with coursework that is inspiring me to always begin again.

Always begin again.


It was a great lesson in living my best. In giving my all to ensure my journey is taken with eyes and heart wide open and full of love. Letting go of my limiting beliefs I am free to experience the wonder of the world around me because my heart is held in Divine hands full of Love.

I am my difference

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. Banner in the Choices room -- sometimes attributed to Henry Ford or Anthony Robbins

On Saturday at Choices a woman told the group about her Choices journey. In it, she thanked two people who have made a significant difference in her life and then, she turned to me and thanked me by telling me how my book, The Dandelion Spirit, and my blogs have impacted her.

I started to cry.

Me. The person who jokes, "I do not cry in public" crying in front of a room full of people. Not pretty.

Who cared?

Nobody.

Other than my ego of course which wanted to hit me over the head and remind me of how to play small in the world.

I was curious. What is it within me that makes me fearful when someone thanks me and touches my heart? My resistance to accepting her gratitude and her public acknowledgement of how I've made a difference in her life, shook me up.

The thought, "I've always been like that" ran through  my head and was quickly followed by, "Does that get your more or less of what you want in your life, Louise?"

The answer is simple. Dissing someones gratitude, thanks, acknowledgments gets me less of what I want in my life. Her expression of gratitude was heartfelt and very, very beautiful. I wanted to embrace her words, and her being. She is beautiful and loving.

And I was resisting accepting her words into my heart. What's with that?

The solution is simple.

Stop It!

Of course, The Critter likes to pipe up in those moments of absolute certainty and have its say.

Ha! How you supposed to stop it stupid if you've always been like that?
You can't trust what people say anyway. You know they're just lying.
Just you wait! The Universe is going to bop you on the head if you get too big for your britches.
Show-Off! You're so conceited. You think you're so smart. You think you're so much better than.....

UGH!  I really really dislike that critter.

Then Stop It! Louise.

And I do. I remind myself of who I am, my purpose and my intent to make a difference in the world.

I am a radiant woman igniting joy in a world full of wonder and love.


I am a radiant woman igniting joy in a world full of wonder and love.

I am a radiant woman igniting joy in a world full of wonder and love.


And so it is.

I make a difference in the world.

You make a difference in the world.

We all make a difference in the world.

And when our different making is based on being our most incredible selves, in shining bright and letting others see our magnificence through our being real and authentic and grounded in creating more of what we want to see in the world, the world is full of wonder and love.

A woman thanked me and in her gratitude I was given the gift of more than just her words. My heart was broken open in love and I embraced the truth of who I am.

I am the difference I make in the world when I honour the presence of those whose lives I touch by living my truth -- I am a radiant woman igniting joy in a world full of wonder and love.

Let's all be who we truly are and make a world of difference!


Namaste.

Miracles miracles everywhere

I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.  -- Louisa May Alcott 

I am off coaching at Choices for the next five days and will have little time for blogging. Choices is the personal development/lifeskills program I took in April 2006 which has continued to be a guiding light in my life ever since. It is a time of hearts breaking open, wide eyed wonder and miracles everywhere.

It also means I'm into long days, fast sleeps and breathless moments of wonder.

My dream would be the whole world did a program like Choices -- just so that everyone could remember what a miracle they are.

Know, you are a miracle of life. Beauty. Love. Joy. are you.

May your day be filled with miracles alighting where ever you are.

Namaste.

My cup runneth over with Love

The invitation in Week 3 of the Soul of a Pilgrim retreat I am participating in is to create a 'map of your inner journey'.

Last night, I meditated on my map, read some fascinating articles online of inner map-making and dove into creation.

It was a fabulous experience!  Filled with wonder and with the unexpected -- and as I wrote in my journal yesterday, "I am falling in love with the unexpected."

From my Soul of a Pilgrim journal -- 

Discovering The Map of my Inner Journey was a very unexpected uncovering for me. I loved the concept of mapping, found a map of the Pilgrim routes to the Shrine of St. James -- which excited me -- there were so many routes to arrive at the same place -- much like my journey of life. Years ago, when I'd come out of an abusive relationship that almost killed me, I commented to my therapist that I really liked where I'd come to having come through that journey. "I get that I'm an experiential learner," I told him, "but did I have to take such a big experience to get here?

And he replied that there were a thousand routes I could have taken, this just happened to be the one I chose.

My pilgrim journey is like that -- as the map shows -- a thousand routes, I happen to be taking the way I am walking -- the Path is the Way.

What surprised me in the creation of this map are the places outside the routes -- those places I've dwelt in during the dark winters of my soul -- the Land of Unspoken Dreams, the Valley of Under Achievement, the Sea of Regrets, the Basin of Unexplored ideas, the Mountain of False Starts, the Desert of Perfection, Ocean of Hidden Talents, Lake Hopeless Despair -- all of these places exists out there, waiting for me to wander into if I do not stay true to my path of coming home to the heart of me.

And that is where I found that deep truth on my map -- that when I stand in Love, when I allow Love to infuse my being and my journey and my way, I fall in love with all of me -- and that includes the bits that journey into the Sea of Regrets, or Mountain of False Starts.  My cup runneth over with Love -- no matter where I walk.

Loving myself means accepting where I am at, without the need to change course precipitously. 

To simply allow.

And in that allowance, in that acceptance is the truth -- I am never lost because I always find myself when I stay true to my course, true to my journey of coming home to my heart, no matter where in the world I am.

There are a thousand paths to take -- choosing one is simply, a choice. Always, no matter what path I choose, the path will unfold and I will travel, burdened, or unburdened. And always, what I carry is my choice.

Today, I choose to carry joy.

Beginning again and again

We are entering Week 3 of the Soul of a Pilgrim online retreat I am participating in. I wanted to assess where I'd been in the desert of my exploration of this journey and decided to create a slideshow/video of my progress by using my mandalas and photographs as the map. You can see my progress HERE.

It was fun, exciting and rewarding to learn something new, to explore my journey and find my truth illuminated in my creative expression.

That made me think of how I could enrich my journey with my beloved -- by creating a video of the first 21 poems I've written him since Valentine's Day.

Thought leads to action and so, yesterday morning, excited about the prospects of creating a video for him, I sat down at my computer to play.

And I played. And I played. For four hours. And when I was finished, I was excited about the results. (and yes, I admit it, I can be compulsive...)

The final transition perfected, I hit upload, and that's when the trouble started.

File corrupted. No go. Sorry. You're screwed. No video to access. Not gonna happen. (ok so the 'unseen hand of the cyber-nerds' didn't quite put it that way but that's how it felt.)

I... softcore cursed, I'm not into hardcore cursing -- this is a family show too you know!

After a few minutes of 'what on earth is going on', I decided to figure it out.

One hour later, after exploring all the possibilities at the root of my connection issues, I had fixed the problem. But I could not find my video. It just wasn't there.... no video meant no poem and I contemplated what to do next.

And I am reminded of one of the many lessons from my Soul of a Pilgrim retreat -- Where ever you're at, always begin again. 

In between, C.C. and I Skype (when did to Skype become a verb?) and he casually mentions the lack of poem that day.  I tell him my woes but am secretly delighted. The poems have become part of the rhythm of our day.

I begin again and spend the next two hours in delightful creativity. It's very different I know because I had written that day's poem as a thread running through the slides -- and did not have a hard copy of my words.

But, finally, happy with the result, I click upload.... and this time it works!

And he is pleased with his gift and my heart is happy.

And then.... I find the original version still on my computer!

What a gift.

Both video poems are very different. Yet both speak of Love.

I am grateful.

In learning something new, I discovered there's always room for more and in that more, beauty unfolds and unfolds and unfolds.

And in the process, me and the 'unseen hand of the cyber-nerds' had a conversation and they get my point -- no sense beating them over the head with my ire. They're rather testy little fellas' -- ya' know what I mean?

Guest blog at A Year of Making a Difference

Over at A Year of Making a Difference, my friend Dave Cunnin shares some wonderful insights into how acts of service, and being served, can make a difference when we pay attention.

Where Is The Love by Dave Cunnin (www.harmoniousflow.com)

Get Inspired!

Night lingers. Dawn slips through the crack on the horizon, pushing into the darkness, lighting up the night.

Snow still covers the ground but warm temperatures are quickly melting the evidence of its fall. Wisps of spring dance on the horizon, just over the next hill, the next valley. Promises of blossoms to come tantalize my senses.

I search for my first sight of a robin.

I am in the time of waiting.

Like Lent.

That time when the promise of something greater than this winter landscape enters my soul and pushes me into wakefulness.

March 9 Mandala

In the Soul of a Pilgrim retreat I am taking through Abbey of the Arts, I wrote in my retreat journal, "Love blossoms in dark and light for love is the portal to my heart." It was in response to the mandala I drew that day to honour my journey into the desert.

One of the processes in the retreat is to create a mandala a day representing your journey.

I have been inspired by this process. I've used different mediums. Even created a digital mandala using Paint.

And in the process, the exploration of medium, of expressing my state of being through a daily mandala has inspired me to keep creating. Keep exploring. Keep moving deeper into the desert.

What about you? What gets you inspired? What fires up your desire to explore the hidden landscape of your heart?

To give your inspiration muscles a boost, I am sharing a composition from one of my favourite groups. The Piano Guys.

They never cease to inspire and amaze me. They never cease to wake my spirit up!

Namaste.