Nothing to hold onto

Spend time every day listening to what your muse is trying to tell you. Saint Bartholomew

Early morning slips into late. I cling to sleep. The day beckons. I arise.

Two ferry rides, a missed connection a stalled drive off the ferry because of a car that wouldn't start (not mine but the one car that needed to move for my car to move along too) and I am back on the mainland.

Beside me, C.C. sleeps. He flew in yesterday to join me for the weekend in Vancouver. Upstairs, on the main level of their home, my sister and her husband putter through their morning ablutions. Alexis made a brief appearance from where she was sleeping and has wandered back to bed after declaring, "Im never hanging out with C.C. again!" I had left the both of them at a bar around ten pm, after sharing a wonderful dinner at the Water Street Cafe. I stirred only slightly when they rolled in at 2:30 am.

Outside, a hear the grating of gears as a truck drives by. I hear the distant hum of 'city'.

It is hard. This immersion into 'real world' mode. I want to hold back the data stream. I want to stup up 'island life' and carry it within me like a vile of magic elixir into which I can dip when 'life as it is' streams into the soul-full living I experienced at The Haven all week.

When I'd taken the ferry from Gabriola Island to Vancouver Island yesterday I dreamt of going west again, across the Island's back to the far western shore to my favourite place on earth -- Tofino.

But love awaited in the city. And love's call is greater than any place I've ever known.

And still, this morning, I feel it. Thepull of the tide, the lap of the waves calling me, like the voice in the song we wrote -- Come on home.

It was an intention of the course, Eric said on Sunday evening when we first convened. "I'd like for all of us to write a song. Together. Are you open to is?" he asked.

We all said yes, and so, interpsersed with discussions of music and musicians, of lyrics remembered, and the ones that got away, we 'noodled' at the song.

"Let's start with the chorus," Eric said. "It will lead us to the song."

And the chorus began to appear.

I feared I'd have little to offer. But no one had heard of mindmapping and I lead them into the lure of calling words and thoughts and ideas into a web of inspiration.

I did have something to offer!

And the chorus began to appear.

hesitantly at first, but gaining confidence, the collective muse appeared on the whiteboard. There was no idea too small. No thought unworthy. Eric, a master at inclusivity, insured every voice was heard, every word noted. Every thought captured and measured on the whiteboard as it sought its place in our song.

By the end of the first morning, the lyrics and the notes of the chorus took voice.

Come on home. Come on home.
The air is clear. Door's wide open.
Whatever path your spirit's chosen.
You're not alone. Come on home.

It was pure magic. Undistilled wonder to sit amidst a group of strangers and feel the muse weaving in and out of our presence, wrapping us in the delicate weave of her beautiful voice connecting us through a song none of us knew we held within and in which we now all share.

Pure magic.

It is that feeling of connectivity, of being part of something very, very special that I cling to.

That moment in time when spirits met and flowed in and around and together, drawing out the voice of a song that must be sung. that must be shared.

I have been blessed. With a song. A voice. A place. A name. A connection.

I have been blessed with five days by the sea floating in the waters of beautiful souls singing together.

After the concert Wednesday night, Eric told us he was 'beyond words', afraid that to put something so beautiful down on paper would distill it to a mere idea.

It is beyond an idea.

Beyond the moon and the sea, the waves lapping, the stars glittering all above.

It is beyond all of this.

And yet it is within me. Of me.

It is me.

And you.

And you.

And you.

It is not us and them.

It is all of us. Connected.

I do not struggle to hold onto it. There is nothing to hold on to. And everything to hold when I let go and surrender to fall, in Love.

Always, in Love.

Where ever I am.

Where ever I go.

Whatever I do.

In Love.

Forever.

Namaste.

Connected in the waters of life

Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God. Krishnamacharya

Ever have one of those moments when suddenly, the answer is there, right in front of you, around you, beneath you, above you, within you? It is so clear, so bright you just know. Know, deep down in the bottom of that place just behind your belly button where the fires of your eternal flame flicker in the dark. This, this moment right now. This is 'it'. This is life. This is what it's all about. This moment right now is the Divine, crystallized on the morning dew. The Holy, opened up before you. The essence of all that it means to be human bathing you in love, peace and harmony.

This morning, while meditating, I had one of those moments. Crystal clear, deep, profound, silent and beautiful. I am whole. I am holy.

This morning, I saw 'it'. Saw a truth that has been dancing in the light of my dreams but would vanish to the edges of the mists of my consciousness rising.

This morning, I felt 'it'. Felt its warm loving breath breathing light and hope and endless possibility into my day.

I have always believed that we human beings are inherently good. At the core of each of us is a magnificent jewel of human perfection, over-flowing with creativity, joy, beauty, love. It is our birthright, the essence of who we are born to be.

It is what I live every day at the shelter where I work. It is what I express in my courses, in my interactions with the clients who struggle to overcome life's burdens bearing down upon their enthusiasms, their purpose, their belief in who they are.

This morning, I felt God's breath upon me and I opened up to the truth of my magnificence connected to yours and yours and yours and yours.

See, we are all connected. Strip away life's hurdles. Peel back the layers of human conditioning, of childhood angst and circumstances. Dig under the skin of our outer limits and you will find the essence of each and everyone of us. Whole. Complete. Holy and Divine.

Swim in an ocean and we will all float in the same waters. Sure, some of us will swim faster, some might even sink until they move their arms to keep themselves afloat. But we are all swimming in the same waters. Breathing of the same air.

I can teach you to swim. But I can't change the feel of the water on your skin or mine. It is always wet.

And that was my moment this morning. In our evolutionary process of this journey from the cradle to the grave, we struggle to unearth our true essence beneath the layers of life's programming, our childhood, our family of origin, our ancestral trees. The environment. Our nature. And in our struggle to understand who we are and why we do the things we do, we spend our effort trying to reprogram our thinking to fit the dream of who we want to be when we're not programmed to ... self-defeat, self-destruct, sabotage, or undermine or any host of self-defeating games we might play that keep us from living the life of our dreams.

Yet, underneath it all, at the core of our human existence is this vast sea of brilliance, of magnificence into which and from which we were all conceived, and born and live. Underneath our struggle to find ourselves, is the realization that we were never lost. We just got buried under the human grind eating away at our magnificence.

We are all connected. Not through our pain and sorrow, or even our joy and laughter. We are all connected through the brilliance of the essence of the human spirit. Through this sea of Divine lightness of being that flows for and through and under and over and around each and every one of us.

We are all connected in the waters of life.

The question is: Will you spend your time today peeling back the layers of your past, or will you let go of your expectations of finding yourself on the road of life and dive exuberantly into the sea of your Divine essence and flow effortlessly in the eternal consciousness that has been willed to us through God's magnificent Love?