Taking action

I finally got a cream for the allergy I'm experiencing. The doctor isn't sure what is causing it -- neither am I. It could be the air or sun, or something environmental in the house. It is a process of recording when it flares up and if I can't eliminate the source, of undergoing allergy testing. In the meantime, the cream is starting to calm the redness and puffiness of my skin. It's been irritating to say the least.

This morning, as I applied a 'thin layer' to my face, I was wishing it would hurry up and work. Couldn't it do its job faster?

Sort of like when something goes wrong in life. Can't I hurry up and get over it?

When I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years 9 months I developed an allergy -- to me. I couldn't become allergic to my abuser, that would have wrested the power back in my own hands. And I was too afraid, too weak, too confused to try to do that. Throughout that relationship I kept mentally amputating parts of myself in order to contort myself into whatever shape I believed he needed me to assume so that I could be in sync with him. In the end, there was nothing that could keep me in sync with him. He was all wrong for my life. It wasn't until I was released that I realized it wasn't me I was allergic to -- it was him.

In freedom, I wanted to be better. Right now. Right away. Tout de suite!

Life, like healing from an allergy, doesn't work that way.

Healing takes time. It requires patience, loving care and a commitment to continually do what creates more of what I want in life, and to not do things that result in less of what I want.

Life is about movement. Life is not stagnant, even when I'm standing still, I am in motion. Even when I'm 'doing nothing', I'm in action -- the action of doing nothing. To heal, to grow, to live my life freely, I am responsible for ensuring each and every action I take brings me towards my goals, my dreams, my aspirations.

The opposite of action is Reaction -- not inaction. No matter what I do, the choices I make will either be action oriented, or reaction driven. Reactive moves will always take me away from where I want to be in life. When I say I want to lose 10 lbs and then eat something that is wrong for me, I am reactive. I am pulling away from my goal. It is up to me to keep my goal in my sights and to continually take steps towards it. Not away.

Taking action is imperative to living my life with integrity, love and joy. Taking action keeps me moving towards my goals.

Reactions take me away from the life of my dreams.

In your life today, are you actively stepping towards your goals, or are your reactions pulling you away from where you want to be?

When I was in that abusive relationship, I got on a self-destructive train to peridition. I put my sights on disaster and could not, would not, apply the breaks to avoid the crash. There were 101 reasons why, and none of them added up to living the life of my dreams. They all resulted in a nightmare.

Today, I choose to act responsibly. Live freely. And, to stay focused on what I want in my life so that I create more of what I deserve and eliminate the things I don't want or need.

Sort of like an allergy. I don't know the source, and must now begin the process of elimination to determine what is causing it. While I'm figuring out what it is I'm allergic to, I continue to apply the balm that is helping my skin reclaim its normal glow. It won't happen over night but with patience, the redness will disappear and I will greet the day without self-consciously checking the mirror to see if the redness is gone. By doing what is helping my skin to heal, and by consciously keeping track of what is causing my skin to react, I am taking action that will create more of what I want -- a healthy life.