Last night I was at the Drop-In to participate in Project Forward. PF is a workshop that focuses on moving on and out of the Drop-In. It is designed to help individuals develop the financial acumen to leave the Drop-In and claim once again their life beyond the label 'homeless.' However, because homelessness affects every element of being human, we also include a segment on reclaiming the 'self'.
I was struck last night by how incredible the human spirit is. It can be as strong as steel and in the same breath as fragile as a dandelion puff on the wind. One moment it can puff itself up like a peacock's feathers, and the next it can glisten as delicately as dewdrop in the morning sun.
Last night, there were 8 men present. They ranged in ages from 23 to 50. One of the questions asked of the group was, Who are your mentors? Can you think of someone in your life who has inspired you? The usual suspects were present, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Churchill, Golda Mair, even Rin Tin Tin and Lassie. Mothers, grandfathers, cousins also made the list.
As each person named people whom they admired, they were asked to list the characteristics of that individual they admired most. Regardless of the name of the mentor, the descriptors were all the same.
Loyal, kind, inspiring, persistent, never gives up, unselfish, generous, focused..
The words were powerful and inspiring. We all agreed, these are attributes we all want to embrace and live with. Each person was asked to think of a time in their life when they had demonstrated one or more of those attributes and to write about how that experience felt. I asked them if they thought it was possible to hold that image in their minds as they carried on their days and if, in times of sadness, despair, worry they would be willing to look at the image to remind themselves of who they are, not who the world sees them as when they are labelled 'homeless'. After much discussion, they agreed it was possible -- and they would attempt it.
What was most interesting about the exercise however, was the list of characteristics they used to describe their mentors. Not one person mentioned attributes such as, he had lots of money, drove a nice car, had a beautiful spouse, had a gorgeous big house etc.
No one mentioned being monetarily successful as something that inspired them. What inspired them were the human attributes that make a difference in the world we live in.
For one young man, his cousin was a mentor-figure because when he was addicted to crystal meth, the cousin stood by him and helped him out and supported him as he struggled to lose his addiction -- which he did.
And that's when I thought about how beautiful and awesome the human spirit truly is. This young man's face lit up as he thought about his cousin. A face that previously had held little expression became animated, joyful and relaxed. He was a young man who at one time had almost died from his addiction. He was kicked out of his home, lived from fix to fix. Did a lot of things to feed his habit and he survived. His life may not be perfect today -- living at the Drop-In it's not -- but he's putting one step in front of the other, going to work every day, and living free of his addiction.
No matter how angry he may be at the world, a family who deserted him, friends who left him to die, what made him smile was the memory of someone who touched his life in a profound way and gave him a second chance at life.
We all deserve second chances at living. Sometimes we might even need third and fourth chances! No matter the circumstances that brought us down, when we connect through our humanity, connect to those people whom we admire and remind ourselves of what we're capable of, we touch the depth and beauty of the human spirit to survive -- in spite of ourselves, and in spite of life's circumstances.
For the men who were at Project Forward last night, life has dealt some tough hands. Sure, they are responsible for their experiences. Yes, they made a lot of mistakes. They know that. What they're searching for now is the path out, the way to grow beyond the weight of the past so that they can live freely in today. They're putting one foot in front of the other, accepting what is today so that they can create a life free of homelessness.
It takes an awesome spirit to turn up in their circumstances and be accountable. It takes courage.
Ultimately, for each of those men, for all of us, what we did yesterday is nothing compared to what we are capable of doing today.
May we all live an inspired day, doing what we never imagined possible and being the most incredible human beings we can be. We deserve it.
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