Friday, May 4, 2007

Without Regrets

Imagine you are writing the last chapter of the book of your life. As you close the final paragraphs, you write a scene at your funeral. The people who love you most are gathered around in a circle, talking. About you.

What are they saying?

Are they saying how sad it is that you never had a chance to overcome the hardships of your life? Are they talking about all the things that went wrong in your life as you struggled to make your way, carry your load? Are they phrasing every good comment about you -- "She was such a caring woman", "Had such a good heart" -- with an addendum -- "If only life hadn't been so hard." "She could have done..." "She could have been..."

I know. I know. Thinking about your funeral is morbid. But, if life is a journey that finishes with the inevitability of death, like any good tale, as the creator of my story, I need to know the ending in order to ensure each step of the journey leads me to the ending I want, not the one foisted on me by the rest of the world.

In the story of my life, I want to create a tale that speaks of courage, strength, commitment to love, truth, integrity, justice, beauty. I want my story to be about the dreams I realized, not the regrets I carried to my grave. I want my story to be filled with laughter, song, dance, beauty. I want it to be a technicolor kaleidescope swirling with vibrant life, a never-ending story of love.

I want to be the victor of time, using up every second I've been granted, filling each moment with all of me, the best of me, the most of me. Squeezing each second out to drain it of every ounce of life so that when my loved ones are standing around my grave, they are inspired by the richness of my life, the joy with which I moved through each day. I want them to be comforted by the knowledge that life didn't get the best of me because I lived life as the best me I could be. I want everyone to know, life didn't 'get me down' even in those moments when I did fall down. Falling down is inevitable, flying is optional. I want to have flown high after every fall as I got down to business living each moment with everything I had, giving it all I got.

I want to be a victor, not a victim of life.

The choice is mine.

Which do you choose? Write 'the end' of your life. Write an eulogy of what you want someone to say as they celebrate your life. Write about the magnificence of you, the exciting, incredible journey you took. Watch your thinking carefuly as you write. Is your inner voice believing the words? Embracing them. Loving them. Laughing and dancing with them? Or is it slithering around in discomfort whispering, "That's not you." "Liar. Liar. Pants on fire."? Listen to your inner self-talk and if it's unsure of who you are, get busy being who you are meant to be when you live your life without reservation, without regrets.

What will they say when you are gone?

My goal is to ensure that whatever they say, it won't be, "What a nice lady. End of story."

My goal is to live my life as I plan on leaving it.

Without regrets.

No comments: