Friday, June 22, 2007

Here's to life. Alive and Dreaming

Remember when you were little and anything seemed possible and everything felt like a big deal? Remember when time took forever to arrive and ended way too soon?

When I was a little girl I filled my time with dreams and dreaming. With thoughts of all that I could do and be and accomplish when I was all grown up and living in time with my heart beat pounding out my fear of never having enough time to do it all. My dreams were filled with all that I could do. With all that I would be. With everything that was possible.

And then I got 'all growed up' and my fear of living with no strings attached pounded out my dreams. Flattened them into the dust of days gone by as I slid into the days of one after another. That place where I was stuck at first base waiting for someone else to hit the ball so that I could run home all the while fearing I'd be struck out. That place where monotony droned and I lived silently between the spaces lining my book of dreams unlived waiting to leap off the page if only I would let go of the comma, and leap into the question of What if... what if my dreams could come true. What if I was the creator of my destiny. What if anything was possible if only I would take action to give my castles in the air a solid foundation in reality.

Most of my life I feared dreaming. I feared taking responsibility for my dreams. Of turning up for me without fear that I will fail, or somehow sabotage my success, or undermine my accomplishments. I feared making concrete those ephemeral wisps of images of what was possible in my life. Those secret yearnings that slipped through the night and skittered quickly into the darkness the moment the light came on. I feared dreaming big. Dreaming large. Dreaming in living colour. I feared I was unworthy, undeserving, unbelievable.

And in my fear I yearned. For more. More love. More happiness. More passion. I ached for arms that held me tenderly when they were gone. For words to unlock the secret of life I knew was waiting for me somewhere, out there if only I would let go of what could be when I stepped into living my life on the other side of my comfort zone in that place where more existed. More life. More feeling. More understanding. More colour. More space. More me.

I thought the truth was, my dreams were childish remnants destined to live on the shelf of yesterday like a tattered one eyed teddy bear long forgotten in the journey from childhood. And now I know the truth. My fear of dreaming was fed by the lies buried deep within the past when I was too young to understand the messengers weren't telling me to limit my life, they were simply acting out their fears of what was true for their lives. In my childish belief that they knew everything there was about me and that their words held the truth of my future, I embraced their beliefs as mine.

Truth is, no one else knows my truth. No one else controls my destiny. Just as I do not hold someone else's truth or what is true for their lives. What is true for me, like our fingerprints, is unique to each of us. It's embedded in our DNA. A specific combination of molecules and atoms, adding up to one clear, irrefutable fact: We are each unique.

Long ago I gave into the fear of dreaming and slipped into the shadow of living life from behind the curtain of my fear. Life is too precious to travel only in darkness. Life is meant to be lived in the light of dreaming. Full. Round. Technicolored dreams making possible all that I know I can be when I live fearlessly, passionately, alive and dreaming, being my one unique self.

Here's to living fired up by the volcano of life exploding with opportunities bursting into living colour.

Here's to living with passionate disregard to the fears that would hold us back from being the miraculous, amazing, awesome and unique creations of our dreams.

Here's to life on the other side of our comfort zones where more exists than we could ever imagine.

Here's to imagining anything is possible and knowing it's true.

Here's to sliding exuberantly through first base, anticipating the home run, feet exploding across the turf, hair flying, arms flailing, legs pumping, heart pounding, breath bursting through our lungs as we fling ourselves across the plate joyfully screaming, Home Free!

Here's to life on the other side of fear where dreams come true!

Here's to You and Me!

1 comment:

Leanne said...

Wow, louise, definitely connected there! i didn''t have a chance to read until just now! Cool - that whole thing about all being connected is becoming more and more of a truth to me......
cheers to you and your beautiful truth!
Love leanne