Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dancing into wonderful

I awoke this morning wondering what magic the day had in store. And then I read this quote in my Inbox from English author, JB Priestley: "I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning."

Fresh starts.

Last night C.C. and I had a long rambling discussion about life, relationships, feelings, being, seeing, doing....

I'm always challenged in those situations to stay in the moment, to listen to hear and understand, to be present.

I want to jump to conclusions. To assume he's saying he's walking away. To leap into the ending before we've ever begun.

Defense mechanisms. Tapes. Self-defeating behaviours.

I asked him when we got home if he realized how many times I had to talk myself out of not getting up from the table, putting my coat on and walking home. "I didn't realize you even wanted to do that," he replied. And then he added, "I'm glad you didn't."

Why would he know my fear mechanisms were kicking into high gear? I didn't tell him. That was the dialogue going on in my head while he talked about his perceptions of relationship, life, and all that jazz.

For me, relationship is a scary dance -- realize it more and more as I move deeper into being 'in step with him' as opposed to simply being in the dance.

This morning I awoke and thought, the world is filled with some kind of wonderful, what wonderful will I create in it today? I may be scared, but I'm still moving forward, moving inward, moving into this dance where two people slowly reveal their inner selves, their inner knowing, their inner fears.

I'm still dancing into wonderful. Still looking for magic and being the catalyst of my creative blasts of joy.

The question is: What about you? Are you up to creating a blast of joy in your day today? Are you dancing into wonderful?

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