I am a reflection of what I attract

Love is a many splendoured thing. Or so the song goes.

Like cells attract the cells they need to create. The cell doesn't know what it's creating nor can it name the cells its attracting. It's limited, focused intelligence tells it what to do -- not why. Like embryo cells. The purpose for certain cells is to create a heart. Others lungs. They do their work and life is born.

In love, we often don't know why we are attracted to someone. We just know the feelings are there. Sometimes, one person feels the attraction more than the other. Sometimes, hopefully most of the time, two people feel the same attraction and a relationship is created.

Long ago, I had an attraction to a man that was not healthy. The relationship became a reflection of the state of both our unhealthy psychologies. On the surface, I appeared to have a healthy goal of desiring connection with another special human being. On an unhealthy level, deep within me, was the need to be treated with disrespect so that I could feel validated in my sense of unworthiness.

That unhealthy need had been germinating in my life from long ago as a child when I translated what was happening to me into being about me, because of me. When I made abuse mine. Through therapy, writing, self-reflection, I had been working at my unhealthy needs so that I could enjoy true relationship based on my goal to live with peace and joy and surrender in my life. But, the power of his unhealthy personality, triggered my core unhealthy belief into taking action -- and I became lost in the belief I was in love with him when what I was really trying to do was fulfill the goal of my unhealthy psychology.

One of the most difficult aspects of coming out of a relationship that is abusive is to let go of the belief "I love him". Stepping away from the belief that I loved him, allowed me the grace to move into loving myself enough to acknowledge that what I had with him was not about love, it was about fulfilling my unhealthy need to prove I was unworthy.

Today, I know the truth. I am worthy of a life filled with joy. I am worthy of loving myself for all I'm worth and, I believe I attract into my life those who reflect my joy and my love of life. I am a creative soul. Like the heart cell attracting the cells it needs to live its purpose, I attract joy in ever-expanding circles of love.

Love is a many splendoured thing. When I revel in its splendour, life becomes a spectacular journey filled with limitless opportunities to express my creative soul where I am a reflection of the loveliness surrounding.

The question is: What do you attract into your life? Is it a reflection of your goal to create a life filled with love and peace and joy and wonder? Or, is your life reflecting back your inner disquiet?