Monday, November 19, 2007

The riddle

I love riddles. Always have. When I was a little girl, my father used to give me all these riddles to figure out. I could spend hours trying to find the answers. In the end, especially with the harder math ones, he'd tell me the answer and I'd have to figure out how I didn't figure that one out!

Yesterday on the radio, I heard a riddle I hadn't heard since I was a young girl.

Three men go to a hotel and book a room together. The room costs $30, so they each pay $10. After they've gone upstairs the desk clerk realizes the room only cost $25. He gives the bellhop $5 and tells him to return the money to the men. The bellhop figures he can't split $5 evenly, so he pockets $2 and gives them each $1 back. That means they each paid $9 for the room. Which means they paid, $27 total. But, if you add the bellhops $2, it means there's only $29 -- Where did the extra $1 go?

Ultimately, the answer is, it's not a math question -- it's a case of misdirection. The riddle asks us to follow the money trail. It mixes money paid with money received and money returned -- not the reality of the original monies paid.

When I was in relationship with Conrad, I lived a riddle. I followed his misdirection. I focused on what he was saying 'would happen', not what was actually happening. He continually asked me to ignore the facts, and focus on his lies. And I did. Not because I'm stupid. I'm not. My attention was diverted into the lies, into believing his truth was what he was speaking, not what he was doing.

I love riddles, I love trying to figure them out -- and that entire relationship was a riddle to me. He connected into my curiosity (amongst other things) and I got duped into thinking I needed to figure out what was happening, instead of following what was happening to the inevitable truth -- I needed to run as fast as I could away from him!

It is a common trait amongst those of devious intent. Like a husker shifting the cards rapidly before your eyes, you try to follow the action of his hands and never see the trick unfolding. Mislead into believing the truth is waiting for you under the card you've been following, you lose sight of what is happening to the cards around you. You focus on them, and not on yourself and lose sight of your world around you.

I still like riddles. I just don't get caught up in the need of having to figure them out so badly that I lose focus on who I am and where I'm at in my life today.

Knowing the truth about who I am, what I want in my life, and my responsibility to live my life with integrity, grace and honesty, I must always stay true to my values, moral, principles -- not the truth someone else tells me or wants me to believe is my reality.

My truth is this is my one and only life. It's up to me to live it, breathe it, experience it -- no holds barred. It's up to me to be the best me I can be so that I can fearlessly live the life of my dreams.

Life is filled with riddles. But, the riddles do not make my life because my life isn't a riddle waiting to be discerned. Life is what I make it. It's up to me to make this my best day yet so that I can live the life of my dreams. No one else can tell me my dreams. No one else can make my dreams come true.

The question is: Are you living the life of your dreams, or are you following someone else's misdirection in the hope it will lead you to the truth of what your dreams really are?

3 comments:

joy said...

sometimes, we let others to lead our own life, hoping we will end up to the right one. But this does not happen all the time, that is why we need to be vigilant on whoever we are with and we must know what road we are taking.

cheers!

BRyan said...

This is JUST what I have gotten out of:
"I followed his misdirection. I focused on what he was saying 'would happen', not what was actually happening. He continually asked me to ignore the facts, and focus on his lies.... My attention was diverted into the lies, into believing his truth was what he was speaking, not what he was doing"

Thank you for posting :-)

M.L. Gallagher said...

Hello BRyan -- I'm glad you found some answers to the riddle of what he was doing. You are not alone.

Welcome to this healing place, a space to find yourself and be all you're meant to be.

Shine on!

Louise