Giving it 100%

Every morning when I awake I make choices -- What will I wear? What will I have for breakfast? Even, what will I write?

The most important choice I make however is, what thoughts will I collect today? What thoughts will I let in? What thoughts will I let go of? What thoughts will I carry with me to sustain me, to nourish me, to create my best day yet?

In the bed across from me in the hospital last week was a tiny 81 year old woman. She'd been there three weeks after doctor's discovered a 'freak' occurence within her body. Her appendix, which had been removed when she was a teenager, had somehow grown back -- okay so that's not the scientific definition but that's how she described it. Major surgery and a long recovery had left her weakened and discouraged. The doctor's were recommending she not live on her own anymore because she couldn't breathe properly without oxygen. They were also suggesting she quit smoking.

"No way," she asserted. "I'm 81. I'm expected to not have as deep breathing as other people and at this age, if smoking hasn't killed me yet, something else will eventually."

She was an interesting roommate. Ascerbic. Critical. Feisty. She had an opinion about everything. A stance to take on pretty well every issue. One morning, a nurse asked her how she had slept.

"How do you think I slept?" she asked. "You gave me a diuretic before I went to bed. I had to pee all night long. Someone came and checked my oxygen levels every two hours. A tech came and took my blood at 3 am. I slept lousy. Can I go home now?"

The nurse smiled and said as she checked her vitals, "Not until your oxygen levels come up to a sustainable level without assistance."

"Like you care," the woman replied.

"I do care," the nurse said. "We all do."

It's all in how you look at it. From the woman's side, the constant attention was irritating, frustrating, annoying. From the medical staff's side, the attention was part of good care. Part of their 100% effort to help her heal.

The question is however, what is the woman's 100%? To fight back? To criticize and complain, to keep smoking? To accept low oxygen levels and their resulting lack of energy, difficulty breathing and inability to climb stairs comfortably as her norm or to do everything possible to assist the medical team in helping her live a healthy, comfortable life?

I had my gallbladder removed and stones were left behind. When the 81 year old woman across from me commented that that was just typical of our health care system, I replied, "I believe everyone involved is giving me their 100%. The surgeon gave me 100% of his attention during my surgery. The nurses have given me 100% of their best care possible. My condition is a risk factor of this type of surgery. I happen to be one of the 20% for whom the risk became reality."

We hear and read so much these days about the issues and problems within our health care system that we carry the thoughts of the shortcomings with us where ever we go. Yet, on Sunday morning when C.C. wheeled me into Emergency, the system leapt into action without a moment's hesitation. At the triage desk the man waiting in line before us stepped aside to give me precedence. The triage nurse quickly took my vitals and said, "Give us five minutes and we'll juggle some beds and get you in." Once in, I was seen without delay and quickly given a prognosis of my condition as well as details on what they needed to do to remedy my situation. My care was superlative and effective. It was provided by people who obviously had my good health at the heart of their concern and who didn't let the flaws within the system give them an excuse for not doing their 100% to ensure I received the care I needed.

And so, back to my thoughts for today. I know there are flaws in the world around me. Issues abound. Problems exist. Crisis lurk. Cracks widen. Potholes deepen. Pitfalls open.

I can walk timidly and tentatively through my day, my senses on amber alert, every fibre vibrating in anticpation of the next disaster, or I can breathe deeply and know, amidst the flaws, within the crisis, potholes, pitfalls and cracks of every day living, there is always beauty to celebrate, wonder to behold and awe to befall me.

For today, I shall move with grace and ease into celebrating the wonder of my world, the joy of my life and the utter bliss of knowing, this is my one, wild precious moment to live it up for all I'm worth. I may as well dance.

The question is: What thoughts are you holding onto today? Are you navigating potholes and tripping over cracks in your thinking or filling your senses with the wonder and awe of the world around you?