Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Living life for all its worth

Sitting here at my desk, my boundaries are defined by the walls around me, the roof above me, the floor below and the keyboard at my fingertips. Above my desk, there is a skylight. When I look up, I see sky, limitless space soaring into cerulean blue. Scattered clouds drift overhead, a shear voile cloth spread out to the horizon in a delicate lacy skirt.

I raise my eyes to look up into the heavens and experience the limitless possibilities of my life in freedom.

Hungarian poet, Janos Arany wrote, “In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.”

When I dream big, my possibilities expand. When I love fearlessly, my possibilities are limitless.

My eldest daughter, Alexis, just called from Pattay, Thailand. She arrived on the island last week, spent a few days in Bangkok and is now travelling through the country. "You must come and experience Thailand," she told me on the phone. "It is like nothing I could imagine."

So much of my thinking around what I do in my life is determined by my mind's ability to imagine what I can do. But, my mind's ability to imagine is limited by my experiences, what I know and what I think I know and can't imagine not knowing.

To live in the now means to not imagine the next moment as a better chance at life. To live now is to drain this moment of every ounce of living colour. To peel it back to its essence, arms and heart and mind wide open to the sensations of being free to flow through this time right now.

In Alexis' blog, How I survived myself, she wrote awhile back that she would be homesick if her her soul wasn't expanding with each moment. This morning she wrote,

"Bangkok sounds of a thousand hearts beating. It is spicy on my tongue and silk to touch. It smells of pineapple and smoke. It is a woman with a broken heart and open legs. It is little girls at midnight in a grown up world. It is wet and it is thirsty. It is laughter and flowers and pavement and hope. It is old men with full bellies and hungry eyes. It is a little elephant who made me cry. Bangkok is orange robes in dusty lanes. Roosters crowing and frozen vegetables in my icecream. It is a breakdance to a symphony of engines and applause. It is hot and salty and sticky and sweet. It is wind in my hair and life before my eyes. It is everything for sale to the tune of resilience. It is stretched out on the asphalt with nothing but a smile."

Some of my greatest lessons in life have come through my daughters. In reading what she wrote, in hearing her voice on the phone, I realized that life is limited to the world I know. She is expanding her knowledge of this planet, living in the moment, experiencing life in the now and revelling in the wonder and pure joy of being alive.

Alexis' words reminded me this morning that life is a continuous journey of discovery. Of learning and growing, learning and growing. Continuously expanding into space. Breathing in the sights and sounds and sensations of the world around me, where ever I am, whatever I'm doing.

We live on a great big huge ball spinning through the universe on its orbital arc around the sun. One moment it draws close to the sun. And then, it retreats along its path through infinite space. Like a heart expanding and contracting, earth moves into day, then night.

I breathe in. My lungs expand. My heart beats. Plump, vital molecules of oxygen ripple through my veins. Blood flows freely to the outer reaches of my limbs.

I exhale. My lungs contract. Blood flows. My heart beats. The cycle continues in quiet, peaceful determination.

It's a great big huge world out there. A planet-full of experience. A universe of limitless possibilities.

In my world, my possibilities are as vast as the sky above me. Soaring. Arcing into infinite space.

My possibilities are my dreams unfurled upon a cerulean blue sky calling me ever further into unknown space. Free-falling, I experience the thrill and power of being alive in this moment where I live my life for all I'm worth -- where ever I'm at on this planet spinning through space.

The question is: What's your life worth? What are you willing to give it to live the life of your dreams?


Anonymous said...

hi elgie,
I've not written in a while, but I read your blog often. Your daughter's prose is spectacular. You've raised a human, you've raised a writer, you must be so 'bursting with pride' . .

Always, reading YOU, I am reminded how much we are different, how much we are the same, how much we have to learn, how much we have to teach, how much we are together, how much we are alone.

Your daughter's lesson is not one of insight so much as that we should all be sponges, we should all go out into the world to soak up all that we can; you have learned we don't need to go halway 'round the world to do that. Also, it would seem that while she is on a journey at the moment, so are you . .



M.L. Gallagher said...

Hey Mark, How lovely to hear from you. ANd you're right, I am 'bursting with pride' for this amazing young woman who keeps expanding into her soul with every breath.

Your words are very profound. We are so different, so the same, so able to learn, and teach.

And yes, being a sponge, soaking in life's glorious moments is a great way to go through each day!