Flying over waves

The water was choppy. Whitecaps danced. Waves splashed. Clouds floated like islands. The sun floated amidst them. Hiding. Shining. Hiding. Shining.

I had never driven a SeaDoo before. A.S. offered to give me a lesson. "The water's a bit rough for a first time," he said. "But if you're willing, I don't mind taking you out."

We left the group of thirty or so adults and kids sitting on lawn chairs in a circle on the sand, and waded out to the SeaDoo. The water was icy. Thigh high. Cold. Chilly.

A.S. gave me a quick lesson. We climbed on board with me in front and took off across the waves. At first, I was nervous. Trepidations washed over me. Oh my god, my mind screamed. I'm scared. My right thumb on the gas knob, I pushed gently down. The machine bucked and balked, slewing through the choppy waters.

"It has to get above the waves," A.S. hollered into my ear.

I pressed harder upon the lever with my thumb. The machine leaped forward, and up and onto the water. We began to fly across the waves. Bouncing and rolling, the sound of the engine a constant drone in our ears.

I was terrified and exhilarated all in the same breath. I laughed and screamed and hooted. Water splashed, spray flew up and out in a white foam that sparkled in the air. We zipped over to the other side of the lake. We zoomed into the waves and headed north. I turned the wheel and we began westward, back to the other shore. With a spew of water and wake, we made it back.

I was in heaven.

I have a contract that I created at Choices. "I am a fearless woman." It reminds me of what I want more of in my life. It's the tool I use in moments when I am afraid. When I hesitate to do what's right. When I balk at taking the next step.

I know a lot of fear. Have felt it race through my body at the most inopportune times, impeding me from forward motion. Inhbiting me from taking action. From experiencing life on the edge of reason, on the other side of my comfort zone.

On Saturday, I whispered my contract to myself. Asked, "What would a fearless woman do?" and hit the gas.

It was grand!

The question is: What do you do when you confront your fear? Do you face it down and move into it, leaping over the boundaries of its inhibitions? Or, do you stop dead and let the waters wash over you, drowning you in their need to hold you back?