Thursday, September 25, 2008

Trusting in the process

I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do. Leonardo da Vinci.

When I began writing this blog a year and a half ago I had no idea what I was doing. Scared that I wouldn't be able to find something to write every morning, I did it anyway. I kept moving through my fear, putting my fingertips to the keyboard every morning and in the process of doing, learned to trust in the process of the writing not being the writer. I became the words appearing on the screen, not the writer making them appear.

Many mornings when I awake, I do not consciously know what I'm going to write about. But, when I let my fingers simply type, to skim the letters on the keyboard and form them into words, the theme or what I'm writing about begins to appear. This blog stems from a conversation I had with a girlfriend yesterday about writing. I didn't know I'd be writing about our conversation until I started writing and the words began to form a thread leading me into my subconscious like Hansel and Gretel through the forest. The gift of our conversation became the clarity of my doing this morning as I trusted in the process of letting the words appear and guide me to my truth.

The subconscious rises to the top when the conscious mind makes way for the truth to appear.

Clarity comes in the doing. Not the thinking about it.

Most of my life I have been 'accused' of over-thinking -- especially when it comes to relationships. I analyze comings and goings like an archaeologist digging for history in the sands of time. I search for hidden meaning in each syllable spoken and pull apart every gesture looking for relevance in every act. I turn a comment into a treatise on the meaning of life and overlook simple acts of kindness in my quest to find discord at the root of harmony. And in my pursuit of truth, love and joy, I have sometimes lost the wonder of the power of the words, I love you.

Writing this blog is not about analyzing anything. It's about letting the truth reveal itself in every day magic, in every day wonder. When I write here, reality becomes clear as the words form pictures that reveal the joy of living life free of believing I have to search for meaning. Meaning is in the doing. Not the searching for it.

For me, writing this blog has provided me an amazing opportunity to learn to trust in my voice. In my strength. In my wisdom. In my life. In me.

In giving, I receive.

The gifts I have received from writing here are many. Confidence. Trust. Truth. Empowerment. Enrichment. Joy. Wonder. Over the year and a half of writing here, I have had many emails telling me what a particular post meant to a reader. I have been blessed to have others find meaning in my words, to find hope in my belief that life is an adventure and comfort in the knowledge that love is limitless. Like meaning, we don't have to search for it, unearth it, uncover it. Love is. All around. Love is.

The question is: Are you searching for meaning in the world around you or living it up with the truth of who you are within you? Are you denying yourself the gift of trusting in love, or are you being the love you seek?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I also enjoyed our little chat. Glad it gave you some food for thought as well.

Happy to report that you’ve inspired me to set up my own blog. Although still 'under construction' your insight and guidance has definitely started me down this very exciting path.

I only hope I can be as disciplined...and as wise as you are….stay tuned!