Saturday morning. Blue sky. Birds singing. Lazy day.
I struggle to think of something to write. Tell myself, 'not today. I don't have much to say." I take a breathe. I know if I trust in this process, the thought, that one triggering word will ignite my thinking, creating words upon the screen. Trusting in the process, I let my mind breathe.
We went to a movie last night. Taken. Dramatic. Fast paced. Action-packed. And disturbing. Men abducting young women. Forcing them into prostitution. Drugs. Sex. "It wasn't personal. It was just business," says the antagonist. "To me. It's personal," says Liam Neeson, the heroic figure of a father racing the clock to save his daughter.
I sit here in my office in a quiet inner suburb of this city on the plains and wonder, how can that be in the world? Yet, how can poverty of such squalor as portrayed in Slumdog Millionaire exist? How can war crimes and genocide live side by side on the vast plains of Africa where lions range and zebras graze? How can the world be filled with such disparity and contradiction? Beauty and the beast. Raging war and making love. How can it be?
Because it is.
Last week I met with a woman who is going to come into the shelter to put on a writing course. Her story was in a local paper this week. Her father was murdered by an armed robber when she was sixteen. Two years ago, thirty years after the event that ruptured her teenage years, she met the man who shot her father.
She forgave him.
She hopes he has forgiven himself.
What is done, is done. What can be changed is the impact it has on our lives today and on the lives of those we love.
When we forgive ourselves, we give ourselves permission to soar free of the ties that bind us to the turmoil and pain of the past, so that we can live fearlessly in today.
When we forgive another, we severe the ties that connect us to their wrong-doing. Doesn't mean they are not accountable. Just means we are not counting our days measured against the pain of what they did to hurt us.
In forgiving ourselves, we commit to doing better. In forgiving ourselves, we commit to creating stronger, better, healthier relationships.
In forgiving ourselves, we get a second chance.
There are no 'do overs' in life. Only another chance to do the right thing.
Today, my 'do the right thing' is to get some chores done. I cannot stop child abuse, violence and crime around the world. I can keep it from disturbing my peace of mind today by holding on to all that is right in my world and celebrating this day for all I'm worth.
I can create a world of value by creating value in this day, and letting the ripples of what I'm doing echo in the world around me.
I breathe in. I breathe in love. I exhale, I breathe out love and joy and peace. The air I breathe becomes part of the world around me. We are all connected.
Today, I'm worth a day of joy. A day of loving freedom. A day of wonder.
The question is: Are you living today for all you're worth?