Wednesday, June 10, 2009

All mankind's inner feelings eventually manifest themselves as an outer reality. Stuart Wilde
We are who we think we are.

I think today that I am very different than I was five or six years ago. And very different than who I was before the relationship that catapulted me into the self-destruction that led to my re-birth.

In the process of becoming who I am today, I have acquired knowledge of my divine essence and divested myself of limiting beliefs that were not working for me. In the process, I have embraced all that I am, the good, the bad and the not so pretty. In my wholeness I have transcended my belief that I am limited to my thinking about who I am. I am so much more than I think. I am powerful beyond my wildest imaginings -- and, at the same time, am limited in my imaginings by my thinking I am only who I think I am.

It's quite a conundrum.

I am who I think I am -- and who I think I am is limited by my beliefs and feelings about me, myself and I. And those thoughts are founded on my experiences with the world around me and how I process them. See what I mean? Quite a conundrum. Accessing my higher goodness is only possible when I let go of my need to know who I am within the box my conscious mind creates to understand the technicalities of my being. Who am I outside that box? Ahh, now that's a question worth pondering.

There was a time when my inner feelings were filled with the angst of wondering, am I good enough? Do I measure up? Do I even matter?

In coming through the hell of self-destruction, I have unleashed my thinking so that I no longer believe everything I think. I no longer limit myself within the box of my judgements. "A good girl would do A. I did 'B', therefore I am not a good girl." In my re-birth, I allow my conscious mind access to my preconscious mind, that reservoir of memory that connects me to not only my human condition on this plane, but the pre-conditions of my foremothers and theirs before them that I carry on a deep cellular level into this world with me.

Somewhere in my preconscious mind there are thoughts swimming in a sea of possibility that I have not yet tapped into. My conscious mind wants to regulate my access to the preconcious. My conscious mind wants to measure, tape, allocate the limits of my thinking to the technical data it likes to process. I am woman. I am female. I am five foot two and one half inches tall. I weigh -- okay even my conscious mind's belief I must tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, is going to make me fess up to that one!

My conscious mind likes 'the data'. It likes to know how things fit together. How they are ordered. How they work. It likes to understand why I am the way I am based on the knowledge it contains within the box of its limited measurement of my journey through time.

My preconscious mind likes to meditate on the archetypes of my being. On the prototypes of the stories my conscious mind creates to make sense of why I am the way I am, why I do what I do.

When I take the time to allow myself access to the preconscious, I gift myself with the bigger story of my being human. In that bigger story, I connect to the archetypal antecedents of my being who I am. No longer is the Sun just the largest planet at the centre of the solar system, the Sun also holds a significance as representative of the Ego. It is the archetype for masculine energy. Fire, heat, a lifeforce. In its archetypal representation, I connect to that masculine force within me. That force that is the Yin to my Yang. Light to my darkness. And in that archetypal story, I find the antecedents of my make-up. The story behind the story of who I am.

Life is the stories we tell. The stories I tell myself are founded in my conscious mind's ability to make sense of what I am doing, what's happening around me, and how I feel about the circumstances of my life today.

Creating new stories to tell is founded on my willingness to tap into my preconscious minds' ability to think outside the box of my limiting beliefs.

Thousands of years ago, Socrates wrote, "the unexamined life is not worth living." A couple of thousand years later, Mark Twain countered with, "The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all."

In the dissonance between examination and contemplation and getting stuck in the stars of naval gazing, I find myself living my best life yet. It's all in my thinking.

The question is: Are you living inside the box of your thinking or are you exploring your options beyond the limits of what you know in your conscious mind? Are you willing to let yourself go?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Socrates and Twain may or not have been right. Someone wrote 'we are what we eat' . . so lets do lunch!


p.s.: when times are good, we are never as good as we think we are and, when times are tough, we are never as bad as we think other people think we are . ...

p.p.s: there is nothing to stop you from doing or being anything or anyone you want to be ..only the roadblock between your ears - so go forth into the world wildly celebrating yourself, spreading yourself openly and, in so doing, showing us all your greatness. Your strength, your accomplishments and greatest successes or ahead of you, in your future and not yet thought of . . and by comparison your past difficulities, as large as they may look in the rear-view mirror, are but tiny nothings in the grande scheme of things .