Counting Chickens

The more we refuse to buy into our inner critics - and our external ones too - the easier it will get to have confidence in our choices, and to feel comfortable with who we are…. Arianna Huffington (www.huffingtonpost.com)

When I went through Choices three years ago, I created a contract with myself that is designed to remind me everyday of what I need to be to have more of what I want in my life. "I am a Fearless Woman" has become my mantra. My personal cheerleader spurring me on to take on more challenges, to do what I must, need, can to create the life of my dreams.

"I am a Fearless Woman" works well for me because, fear is the biggest stumbling block I face in my attempts to attain my goals. In fact, 'fear' is what keeps me from setting goals in the first place. When I remind myself that "I am a Fearless Woman" I remind myself that it is up to me to BE committed to DO what it takes to HAVE what I want.

In Laura Day's fabulous book, The Circle, she writes, "Sometimes you have to count your chickens before they hatch, or they may not hatch at all."

Sometimes, we have to 'pretend' to be who we intend to be in order to become who we are meant to be.

Being fearless is sometimes a pretend act. Yet, when I exercise my fearless muscle, it becomes stronger. In its strength I become that which I have been pretending to be.

As I get into the rhythm of being fearless, I set up a vibration in harmony with the world around me -- a world filled with abundance waiting for me to claim as my birthright. Believing that I am fearless, gives me options I never before dreamt were possible.

When I first set out to become a writer I was in my thirties. Most of my life I had dreamt of being a writer, but had always been too afraid to articulate my dream. So, I became a closet writer, squirreling away notebooks and journals of stories and ideas that I dreamt of one day publishing. In my fear of expressing my dream, I held myself back from acknowledging my inner desire. And in that fear I lived a life without passion. Sure, I appeared passionate on the outside doing all sorts of exciting and interesting things. But, on the inside, I was a quaking puddle of fear searching for a path to run free from my dreams. Rather than focusing on making my dream come true, I spent my time working on pushing it down.

A lot of spent energy in the wrong direction!

My fear of articulating my dreams is founded on the notion that other people will tell me I am wrong/stupid/conceited/self-centered/misguided (fill in the negative opinion) to even dream of doing what I dare to attempt. In my fear of their opinion I give away my power, my voice, my right to live the life of my dreams and give into the notion that it's okay to live my life by other people's measuring sticks.

It's not.

Firstly, often my concept of what other people are thinking is faulty. I'm projecting my fears onto them, constantly listening for the negative in their opinions to confirm I have a right to be afraid.

And secondly, I am grasping onto fear to keep me grounded in the valley of unrealized dreams. In my fear of reaching for the stars, I let gravity pull me down into the mire of the self-fulfilling prophecy that life is a struggle rather than an act of courage inspiring me to greater and greater heights.

In my fear of 'going for it', I seek out all the reasons why I can't. I weigh my opinions upon anything I can find that will reaffirm that going for it is out of the question. What would... people think? The neighbours say? The government do? What if.... I fail. How embarrassing would that be?

Well, having failed a few times and lived through every failure, I know that failure isn't the measure of my success. Learning from mistakes, taking chances to try new ways, to create value from everything -- that's the measure of my success.

And today, I'm one successful woman. I've quit playing chicken and am dancing on the frying pan of life sizzling with opportunity I've set on fire!

The question is: Are you playing chicken, counting only the hatched ideas of someone else's making? Or, are you willing to unhook the door to your chicken coop, throw open the windows and start hatching new ideas on how to live your life fearlessly beyond the edge of reason?