There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. EpictetusLying in bed this morning, I heard yelling from a neighbour's house. It was early morning. Far too early for yelling. But then, anytime is not a good time for yelling, (unless of course it's a soccer match and the yelling is actually cheering on your favourite players!). I couldn't pinpoint what house it came from, and I wasn't sure if it was 'fighting' yelling, or 'under-the-influence' induced. As I lay there listening, I thought, "human relations are so difficult."
What a funny thought for early morning reverie.
I love those thoughts that wander into my mind, awakening me to my limiting beliefs.
Human relations are not difficult -- unless I choose to believe they are and choose to put the power of my will behind the thought.
What is the question behind the belief, I wondered. What's really going on here?
I'm struggling with my human relations at the moment. In my angst, I'm embracing the negative belief -- they're difficult -- and acting out my anxiety. In stating 'they're difficult' to my subconscious, I am creating what I fear; difficulty in my human relations.
The yin/yang of existence. What I focus on grows stronger in my life. My focus on the difficulty of my relations grows stronger as I look at the problem and hold myself in the thrall of what's going on beyond the power of my will.
By focusing on external circumstances I create my own internal distress. I give up my power and my will to create more of what I want in my life. I buy into the belief -- relationships are difficult and fall into the victim's voice that would have me believe, 'it's not my fault. There's nothing I can do. This is reality, face it and grow up...'
And underneath that I find a tape I haven't acknowledged before, "You're too sensitive."
I have a long history of denying my feelings. When in physical pain, I laugh. When in emotional angst, I smile and stuff my feelings down. I lose my authenticity as I struggle to pretend, "there's nothing I can do to change how I'm feeling about what's going on."
Reality is, I'm not okay when I fall into the belief that what other people are doing and saying is all about me. I am responsible for what I'm feeling, not about what's going on with others.
What's all about me is what I am doing, saying, thinking, feeling, being.
That's it. No more. No less.
I cannot change the world. Cannot be responsible for other people's behaviours, thoughts, actions or feelings.
The power of my will extends only as far as the circle of my influence within my life. My ability to create happiness in my life extends only as far as the power of my will.
It is the power of my will to control my mind, to open it up to my higher good that determines my happiness and success in life.
Within the faculty of my mind there exists a school of thought greater than any I can imagine. When I willfully let go of my power and buy into the belief, 'it's too difficult' what I'm really saying is, 'I don't want to be responsible for me. I don't want to be accountable for myself. I'd rather blame how I'm feeling on what's going on beyond the power of my will."
In my victim's place, I undermine my ability to create more of what I want in my life -- happiness, contentment, peace of mind, integrity, beauty and ... love.
It is no coincidence that I am uber-sensitive to C.Cs tone of voice when I am falling under the thrall of being powerless to create change in my work environment.
It is no coincidence that I am uber-sensitive to nuances at work when I am losing myself in my feelings of being powerless to create more of what I want in my relationship with C.C.
It is no coincidence that I am giving into my lesser-self by eating what isn't healthy for me, or not exercising every day, when I am feeding my mind with limiting beliefs like, 'human relations are difficult'.
I am blessed. I have a powerful tool, the most powerful school of thought I could imagine, available to me, 24/7. My mind. It's up to me to focus my will on creating thoughts that uplift me, support me, strengthen me and empower me to create more of what I want in my life.
As I let go of my limiting belief I turn my focus inward. I shine my light upon the only person I have control over and surrender and fall in love, with me, myself and I.
I am not powerless. I am powerful beyond my wildest imaginings as long as I keep my attention on my will to be self-directed in all my thoughts, words, and actions.
That is the gift of my will. To embrace the truth about my power -- I am self-directed. In control of where my mind leads me because I have the will to bring all my faculties and senses to bear to create all of this and everything better in my life today.
The question is: Are you giving into the belief you are powerless, or, are you willing to bring all your senses to bear on your will to become all you are meant to be in a world of limitless opportunity?