Safe in God's embrace

If you want to find God, hang out in the space between your thoughts. Alan Cohen

I have always known that when under duress or stress, my default coping mechanism is to eat. I've always believed if I could manage stress, my eating would not get the better of me. So, it was surprising when, at my meditation group last week, I discovered that underlying the stress is another motivator, a far deeper, more destructive when out of control, factor that I am constnatly attempting to feed in order to feel... Safe. Within me and without me.

The focus of my Wednesday night meditation session was, 'our higher intention'. I've only recently begun attending this group. I've always meditated alone, though in the past I have taken various courses. But a friend had invited me a few weeks ago and I decided to join the group to meditate together every Wednesday evening for a couple of hours.

It has been a wonderful and enjoyable experience. Not only have I met some great people, I've also had the opportunity to share in incredible energy -- for when eight to ten people get together to meditate, there is an energy that comes alive in the room. It is tangible and almost visible. There is peace. There is love. There is nothing.

Before the session began last week, the leader invited us to focus on our higher intention throughout the meditation. In the first part, he suggested, focus on the what of your higher intention. What is it? What does it look like? What is it's depth, height, width?

In the second segment, focus on living it, feeling it, getting into it and becoming it.

And then, in the third segment, be it. In every facet of your being, experience it as though it was a living, breathing entity. Be your Intention. Let your Intention be you.

At one of the nominal parts of the meditation where the leader makes suggestions for how to be in the meditation, he guided us to a mountaintop, "As can only happen in the wonder of your creative imagination," he said, "imagine that you are standing on a mountaintop. You can see forever."

I stood on that mountaintop and as has happened on every mountaintop upon which I have stood (and there were many when I used to climb with my former husband), I felt the urge to leap, to soar, to fly.

I've always held back. Always known that to leap would be to test the boundaries of gravity with possibly serious repercussions. But, safe within the wonder of my creative imagination, I leapt.

And I soared.

And a giant eagle flew beneath me picked me up and supported my body as we travelled together through time and space.

Until I found my courage to let go of his feathers and let myself slide off his back.

And in that moment of release, in that moment of free falling through space, I felt myself supported, embraced, lifted up.

On air.

Ahhh, my mind said. "I am safe within God's embrace."

And I settled into being safe within God's embrace. Light. Free. Complete. At peace.

It was a powerful and profound moment.

So much of my life has been about 'creating safety'. About chasing dreams and ideas and ideals to create safety within me.

And I could never quite grasp it. Never quite attain the safety I sought so furiously throughout my life.

Until I released, let go and surrendered to fall, in Love.

To know safety all I need is to know, to believe, to have faith.

I am always safe in God's loving embrace.

Something shifted in that moment. Something moved within me, like clogs of a clock clicking together to send time on its way, I clicked and fell into place.

I am always safe in God's loving embrace. It is within me. Of me. Me. Always and forever.

I do not need to chase after it. All I have to do is breathe deeply, surrender and fall, In Love.

Nameste.