When we tug at a single thing in nature, we find it attached to the rest of the world. John Muir
that I can be.
It is the thought that drifted through my morning meditation. Turning away, I find myself where ever I am in the nothing that I fear when I surrender myself to being my most authentic self.
In that moment, I become all of me without reservation, without fear, without conditions.
As I have been consciously creating a generative base from which I turn up in my life in faith, I have discovered this place deep within me that distrusts the very thing I desire -- turning up in faith.
What a fascinating conundrum!
That which I am actively engaged in creating is that which I fear -- a leap of faith.
Not faith in God as in my Catholic roots, but faith that Life, in all its exciting and limitless possibilities, desires to express itself through me. That life and I are co-creating this exciting journey where my heart's desires manifest themselves in all that I do, all that I say, all that I see.
In this unwinding of a relationship that I cherish, I find myself acting out. I hurt and to ease my pain, I sometimes express myself in ways that speak of my fear and disappointment, not my belief that Life is delivering to me limitless opportunities to create all that I desire in my life. How I turn up in challenging situations is a reflection of my belief -- in myself, in life, in others, in Love.
My beliefs create my experiences. And, because I lack faith in the goodness of life, I have created situations where I can prove my most powerful beliefs true -- that the world is full of lack, of limited expression of the goodness of life!
In recognizing that I am a woman who has operated from a 'faithless in the goodness of Life' modus of control, I liberate myself to take that leap of faith where I celebrate with Life all that is good, all that is great, all that is beautiful in the world around me.
As I liberate myself to express the beauty and wonder of the world around me and the world within me, I free up space for Life to express itself through me in Divine wonder.
These are not challenging times. These are times to dance in the rain, to wonder at the beauty of raindrops sparkling on a leaf, to marvel at the beauty of a worm edging its way across the lawn.
These are days of wonder when I turn away from nothing and surrender to fall in Love.