Wednesday, September 29, 2010

New York New York

I am off to New York city today. A much anticipated and welcome trip. A trip with some stress.

My youngest daughter, who had a seizure in the Netherlands in June and was diagnosed as possibly having epilepsy, had another seizure on the weekend. Not as dramatic as the first, but a seizure none the less. She's off to the doctor's office today to discuss a drug plan, and I want to be with her.

But my flight to New York leaves at 7:30am and her appointment is at 11:00.

I'll postpone my flight and go tomorrow, I suggested.

No way. she replied. I don't want you to do that.

I'm not doing it. C.C. is going with her as is her boyfriend -- but I want to be there.

And yet...

the NY trip is an exciting opportunity.

I am presenting at a conference -- Performing the World. the topic -- How a homeless shelter, a city arts & culture department and an actor can come together to make magic possible.

Which is what happened last year at Two Bit Oper-eh-Shun and all the other art events we held through This is My City.

It's amazing to think that we're presenting at this conference -- and I'm excited.

and I'm torn

I want to be here.

To be here for my daughter.

And she insists I not change my plans.

So, I go knowing she is in good hands. That her well-being is protected and well cared for by others who love her.

And I want to be here.

I smile somewhat forced, somewhat amused by my human condition and my mother's concern. I so want to be here. I so need to let her go and know that I am okay being where I am scheduled to be.

It will be okay.

As I told her. I'm a control freak honey. I want to ensure everything is addressed at your doctor's appointment.

Write me a list of questions to ask she suggested.

So I have.

And still....

I am off today on a 7:30 am flight.

I'll be back Monday.

I'll still b e able to post from New YOrk.

which is my plan.

I'm meeting Onalea Gilbertson, the inspiration behind Two Bit Oper-eh-Shun on Thursday at noon and then we're off to the conference together.

This evening, I'm off to a dance performance with friends in New York.

How exciting!

And still, I hesitate.

Time to breathe and put myself into the moment.

All is as it should be.

My daughter and I and her sister went to the hospital last evening for her MRI. We are connected, no matter how far apart we roam.

All is as it should be.

See you later as I update you on my adventures in New York!


Anonymous said...


good luck on your trip .... take a big bite of that apple!


Maureen said...

Prayers for your daughter and for your journey in NYC.

Have a wonderful time (I know you will). It's a marvelous opportunity to let your good works shine.

Joyceann Wycoff said...

Louise ... let yourself have a wonderful time and know that your daughter is in good hands. Wish I were going with you ... I love NYC ... and what a special reason for going ... you are a treasure!