Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Someone lied to me recently. Someone I care about.

It wasn't just a little lie, like that dress looks good on you when you don't think it does. It was big. Way too big to comprehend why or how or what was in it for them to do it. Except, perhaps what was in it for them was to avoid the inconvenience of the truth.

Lies break trust, I told them. Lies hurt.

They didn't believe me.

You're over-reacting, they said. Blowing it out of proportion.

Truth is, that lie, or series of lies as it turned out to be, broke many things, including my heart.

A broken heart is an open heart and an open heart is a loving heart.

It is the beauty of finding truth amidst lies. In the crystal clear certainty that enters after the lies have cleared is the knowing what to do, what must be done, what happens next. And in the knowing is the certitude, I will be alright. I am okay. I will move through this and still have the things I cherish most about me, especially my truth.

I am a radiant woman igniting joy in a world of wonder.

I am a fearless woman touching hearts and opening minds to set spirits free.

I am free.

Broken down to the sum of all their parts, lies never add up to truth. They just add up to hurt and pain and confusion and sadness. All of which will pass. And in their passing a relationship ends. In its ending is the knowing, Relationships need trust. To sustain them, nurture them, deepen them. Relationships need truth.

Lies cannot destroy truth. Lies destroy relationships.

Broken hearts heal. In their breaking open, light enters. As Leonard Cohen sings, There is a crack in everything / That's how the light gets in.

What was revealed in this crack is a bigger crack breaking up the foundation of something that was not strong enough to withstand the one thing that was pulling it apart. Lies.

It is a good thing, this breaking open. It is truth getting in. Healing starting to flow. Hope starting to rise above the waters, overflowing the banks of tears that have been shed to wash away the pain and sorrow.

When lies break apart truth awakens in the light of a new day breaking open on the horizon.

I have been broken. Many times in my life. And each time I've been broken, I open up to the greater truth of who I am.

I open up to the greater wonder of who I can be when I let go of lying to myself that I am responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. In being responsible for mine, I trust others to be responsible for theirs.

In my opening up I've found treasures within me that were hidden beneath the shell of my holding myself together with the lie, I love you, exactly the way you are. In truth, I love you has often meant, Now will you change? Here, let me help you become who I want you to be.

In breaking open, I let go of the belief I can love someone enough they will see their truth shining in the light of all the lies they tell themselves to keep their hearts protected from feeling.

No one can see the beauty of who they are unless they open their eyes to the truth within their hearts.

I am not powerful enough to break through the lies surrounding someone else's heart.

I am powerful enough to break through to the truth within mine.

I am broken, open. I am alive and well living this one special moment in the beauty and wonder of being In Love, with who I am, exactly where I'm at, exactly where I'm meant to be. In Love, I stand in beauty. In Love, I am free.

It is a Blog Carnival Tuesday hosted by Peter Pollock. Today's one word prompt is Broken. It's a great word and there's some great writing and thoughts and ideas being shared over at Peter's place.

Click on over to Peter's place. Get inspired. Move yourself beyond the edges of your comfort zone and write a phrase or two on the word Broken. Share your thoughts and share in the thoughts of others.
Your life will be richer for the sharing!

Anthem: Leonard Cohen


Glynn said...

That careless word, that little lie (well intentioned or not), that disapproving look -- and we feel broken again. One of the hardest verses for me int he Bible is the command to forgive -- seventy times seven.

Good post, Louise.

Maureen said...

Great topic choice for the Blog Carnival.


M.L. Gallagher said...

thanks glynn and maureen.

and yes, Glynn -- forgiveness is vital and life-giving. Forgiveness is a given. And in that forgiveness is the freedom to choose differently, do differently. Very powerful.


Brandi said...

I'm sorry someone did that to you.

Anonymous said...


lies are lie, regardless the size

the truth illuminates the liar, demonstrates who they are

the impact on the 'one who was lied to' is no less important - but different questions erupt from the process

- why am I lied to, again?

- what have I done to invite this into my life, again?

- how am I responsible for this happening, again?

the answer is this

'it ain't about you sweetheart'

you get to choose, and live, and deal with honesty issues yourself, in your way, for you

others make their choices for them and they get the consequences

I know where you are - because I've been there

more than twice

and my advice

is, however hard this might be to do, to stand firm that there is no room for that in your life

and live your life without that deception - which probably means you have to live your life without that deceptive person in it

it hurts

it agonizes

not the deed, not the lame apologies and rationalizations or our struggling to figure it out

what hurts - is the grieving of our own loss of expectations ... because we saw the future, our future, unfolding with that person in our life . . . and now we must accept that things will be different without them

things will be different

they will be better

a hundredfold better

or even more than that

the lesson for you . . . as I have learned it when this kept happening to me . . . is that we get the life and future and joy that we create

and we choose what we tolerate

for me, being lied to is intollerable

so are some other things

I choose to live without them

if that means I am alone, sobeit

I don't believe I'll be alone forever, but I do know that I won't be in an unhealthy toxic situation

I wish you, wish for you, that you will find and receive what you need on the same quality level as that which you so freely give



Anonymous said...

Big Hugs and many beans beautiful lady!! your in my thoughts and in my heart!!

S. Etole said...

thank you for sharing your heart so openly ....

JTS said...

The stark truth so simply put... lies destroy relationships. I admire your courage and your strength and your ability to see beyond the pain to the good that will grow from this experience. I am learning here, and growing, and this is why you share! Thank You. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

lots of brokenness

the light is getting in.

M.L. Gallagher said...

Thank you everyone. Your words soothe my aching heart. And, give me strength.

yesterday, I spoke with a friend who cast more light on the lies. Their words gave me courage to do the right thing for me.



Anonymous said...

when people lie they forget that ultimately they will have to face that lie themselves. so they should better be very cautious.


A Joyful Noise said...

Lies hurt and do damage not easily fixed. Truth reveals and heals and you have chosen to stand firm and to be gracious. It is sometimes difficult to "Let it go" but that will become a healing to us if we will just do it.

Anonymous said...

Song Title: Stand
Subject: Song about lies, perseverance, making and taking a stand in life. Keeping your eyes on the pride.
Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3MxZcls24o