Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Cancer (A poem for TP)

T.P was in hospital for a week and is now back. He's looking much better, getting his pain medication adjusted really helps!

He's in a wheelchair now. It's easier for him to get around, less taxing, less tiring. He still has use of his limbs, its just the cancer is spreading into the muscles controlling his legs.

And he's cheerful. Optimistic. An inspiration.

I am a little angry at Cancer this morning. And I know, there is no point in being angry about something that I cannot control. But sometimes, it doesn't matter. The rational doesn't have a place in my irrational anger at this disease that steals so much and leaves nothing behind other than memories and a reminder of how short and sweet life truly is.

There are many forms of cancer. From the medical to the spiritual, cancer always eats away at the host, consuming the body in its quest to consume hope and faith and possibility.

And because I am angry, I turn inward to find that place within where I am at peace with all that is going on around me. Poetry.

This poem started to form itself after I chatted with TP yesterday. I know 'cancer' doesn't care. I do. And so, I wanted to express my anger at 'it' so that I could be at peace with where I'm at, and in that peace know that my anger is not spilling out into the world, causing more harm than good.



Cancer

Corrosive bodies
of ill-will
you consume all hope
in your relentless
pursuit of the host
denying spiritual
redemption
you chew up the future
breaking-down lives
into morsels of time
that can only be spent
now

too soon
you steal away
tomorrow
leaving
no future
in your disease
no present
in your unfaltering
conquest
of one body
one man
one spirit

you don't care
about families
reuniting

you don't care
about lives
lost
and found

you don't care
for anything
or anyone
other than your unremitting
progress
within a body
too weak
to fend off your disease
consuming
life.

Take what you will
of one man's body
but you will never take
his will
to live
to experience
life
you will never take
his memory
living amidst us.

9 comments:

Bev said...

Louise: What an insightful poem as a tribute to a stranger we have just fallen in love with. As you know TP is our newly-found brother!! In this tragedy, we have been able to reunite, and are truly blessed by it. We may lose a loved one when the time comes all too soon, but our lives will be forever changed in all we do. In this terrible disease also lies a cry for the love of mankind to take the time to love and understand each other. Thanks for loving the people you work with and in particular our special TP!!. Larry and Bev

wosushi said...

Beautiful. And hopefully for you, cathartic.

Maureen said...

Having lost so many family members and friends to this disease, I'm more than familiar with the loss it leaves. What it takes is the body, not the soul. The soul rises, as do our blessings.

Please give TP a hug from me.

Anonymous said...

LG,

good poem

as before, sympathies for him, and kudos to you and others who bring his story to light

I mixed feelings on demon-cancer; it is surely, along with heart-disease, the scourge of our times and something I know a bit about from having lost family members and friends to its icy-grip

in time - hopefully in our life time - science will cure these horrors and, then, we'll all be dying of something else

the message for me, in his life, and in you poem - is that we are powerless to deal with an enemy who doesn't fight fair, a villain that doesn't show up for a fair bare-knuckles battle

life, we are learning, is rarely fair

life is more about unfair

as is death

we can learn, in these situations; and when we do, we see courage in others we wonder if we have in ourselves

in witnessing that courage, we become better people

sad people, but better

and when we re-tell the stories, we spread the word and some of the knowing

keep spreading,

hugs,

Mark

nance marie said...

i am sorry that our bodies decay and die. and there are so many things that can take us away from caring and love between people in this life. yet in this life and after this life our soul continues to live. and there are choices that we are given in who our soul belongs to.
that is what i believe to be the truth, or i would not say it.

i have gotten to know t.p. through your writing. and he seems to have a very loving heart. i pray for his soul in Jesus. i hope that his heart hears Jesus and responds lay it all down before Him in beautiful surrender therefore to abide with Him forever.

my heart aches for you and t.p. in this pain and parting.

Kathleen Overby said...

Poetry. A way to process the ugly, turning it from ashes to beauty.

S. Etole said...

this evokes a plethora of emotions ... and yes, to what Nance said

Hope said...

beautifully touching write!
well expressed, Louise

trisha said...

cancer truly is scary louise.