Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Avoidance -- it's no way to live

Dusk settles in.
Under stress I slide into avoidance, spinning plates where hitting home runs cannot happen because I am too busy running around the bases.

It is a thoughtless, mindless movement I consciously think about not doing -- and then catch myself doing, again and again as I run faster to catch the ball, falling ever faster behind... the 8 ball of life.

Avoidance strengthens fear.

I am learning.

To avoid fear I must do the things I fear doing.

Otherwise, I'm thinking about what I fear more than what I'm doing -- and living without being conscious of my doing is unhealthy for me.

Like most of us, I fear change. Yet, as a boss of mine long ago used to say, "Change is here to stay."

I'm in this game of life for the long run. May as well embrace change and give up fearing it.

Avoidance builds resistance.

Or at least acknowledge my fear of change creates ripples of unease in my world when I let my fear push me out of courage into avoidance.

Last week I took care of a personal finance issue that I needed to do for quite sometime. Score one for me.

Today, I'm having lunch with someone I've avoided as I had bad news for them on a project they hoped to direct and didn't get. Score one for me.

These are 'small things' that have appeared large on my horizon, muddying up clear thinking, clouding my vision of possibility and creating a world of excuses I keep breathing into as I avoid taking care of business.

Avoidance weakens my integrity.

Clearing them up makes room for possibility to arise, for my forecast to be sunny. Clearing them up makes room for the universe to move in and support me in the big things I want to do to create more of what I want in my life.

Because, in my avoidance of clearing up small things (as they appear on my horizon - not after I've let them grow into mountains of resistance) I give the small things more mindspace. And in that mindspace, I have little time or energy to breathe life into my dreams.

Avoidance undermines my dreams.

To live a dreamers life come true I must keep my vision clear, my thinking sharp and my perspective open.

Here's to living today free of avoidance rising into fear.

Here's to living my best life yet today!


Anonymous said...


nice piece - reveals lots, but I quarrel with one of your points

you write 'avoidance weakens my integrity' .... and I don't get that

integrity is within you, or it is not

I know you - and integrity runs deep

if you, like most of us, avoid things because they are uncomfortable or difficult . . . then you have membership in the club of avoiders, procrastinators and deflectors

but, unless you do it from a position of dishonesty, then your integrity premise is, I believe, not valid

avoidance is, sometimes, a strategic delay

that's my story

I'm stickin' to it



sharmishtha said...

i too think that the only way to conquer fear is doing the things you are afraid to do. if its not absolutely stupid. :)

lots of love.

Alyssa Wright said...

Ah yes, the mountain of fear -- directly proportional to my "to do" list. Coincidence? I think not...

Timely piece, Louise, as I prepare to go home and tackle the mountain. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

it is good to clear the deck now and again.

sharmishtha said...

you are using amazing photographs louise, just love them.

lots of love.

Ruth said...

Someone said that it's easier to do something than to not do it. I agree. Yet I still put myself through the stress of avoiding certain tasks. When I ask my soul, truly, what she wants, often it is to do what needs doing, which in a different state I would dread, but when connected to my soul, I do not dread. Interesting, no?

Louise Gallagher said...

Great point Mark -- perhaps the line should read -- avoidance distresses my integrity... :)

Louise Gallagher said...

Lol -- so true Trisha -- if it's not absolutely stupid! :)

Louise Gallagher said...

Ahhh, those mountains do block the view don't they Alyssa?

Hope the drive home is uneventful -- and that you get lots of writing done enroute. Can't wait to hear the 'finished' song! :)

Louise Gallagher said...

That it is Nance. Clear decks make safe sailing!

Louise Gallagher said...

Re the photos Trisha -- they are all captured on my IPhone -- I don't like carrying anything bigger :)!

Louise Gallagher said...

Such a beautiful perspective Ruth -- to do what needs doing from a soul place.

It makes perfect sense.

When connected to soul, we do not 'feel' or know, stress. We do not experience want or lack or need.

We simply are.

Lovely perspective. thank you!

Anonymous said...

It seems that procrastination is more appropriate here than avoidance.

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks for dropping by!

For me, both fit.