Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bless them. Forgive me.

The purpose that you wish to find in life, like a cure you seek, is not going to fall from the sky. I believe purpose is something for which one is responsible; it's not just divinely assigned.  Michael J. Fox    

So, self-confession time, I can groan and grumble, criticize and complain like the best of them! 

But grumbling and complaining does not get me more of what I want in my life. It only leaves me feeling unhappy with myself, dissatisfied with my actions and uncomfortable in my ripple in the world.

One of the idioms I want to live by is:  Do not Criticize. Condemn. or Complain.

And then, I catch myself doing all three.

Hello? Seriously? All three?

And then I smile.

Yes. All three.

Bless them. Forgive me.

I am human and in my human condition I forget sometimes to fill my heart with gratitude and leave the dissatisfaction out of the picture.

Yesterday, as I was taking a media person around the shelter where I work, a client approached and said, "I hear you're leaving."

"Yes," I replied. "At the end of the year."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "We'll miss you." And he handed me a chocolate bar. "Here. Merry Christmas. You've done a lot for all of us here. Thank you."

I was flummoxed. I didn't want to take it. I mean seriously. This is a guy who is homeless. Who has nothing to give and here he is giving what he has to me.

And then I remember one of the Lessons in Love I shared in my TEDxCalgary talk -- When you think you have nothing left to give, keep giving.

This man has chosen to live with gratitude. Chosen to give even as he struggles to get on with his life. And in his giving, he has given me the gift of joy, of laughter, of a smile of human connection.

I was at a loss to thank him yesterday. I smiled and said Thank you, but I was overcome with his gesture of giving. In my loss of words, he received the gift of my emotions flowing over and together we created a perfect circle of gratitude.

"Don't make me cry,"  I warned him, the chocolate bar a solid weight in my hands.

He laughed. "It's easy to make you smile. It's nice to know, I can make you cry too."

"I really appreciate your generosity," I told him before walking away to continue showing my guest the shelter. And as I walked away, I felt warm with the knowing that two human beings had touched and connected through gratitude. I felt my heart expanding, my spirit lifting.

I have been grumbling about some of the things that have been transpiring since I announced my resignation from the shelter. Oh, not overtly of course. Now why would I be open and honest and transparent?

Nope. I've been doing the manipulative, underhanded kind of grumbling that doesn't sit well with anyone, especially me.

It's time to stop. To give it up and to be... Thankful.

I have had almost six years working in this amazing place. Six years to give and receive the gift of my humanity.  It is not up to me to dictate, direct or determine what happens next in that environment.

It is up to me to take care of the 3Ds in my own life. Here and now.

And allowing feelings of less than and dissatisfaction determine my worth does not serve me well. It does not create more of what I want in my life.

Bless them. Forgive me.

My stated purpose in the world is to:  create joy in an enlightened world.

I cannot create joy if I am holding onto resentments, or feelings of discontent.

I cannot responsibly live on purpose when I am living from a place of lack filled with criticism, condemnation and complaints.

Bless them. Forgive me.

My heart is grateful this morning.

My spirit light.

Sure, I know I'll probably have moments of angst, of wondering what the heck is going on. I'll probably even forget myself and grumble about something that will not sit well within me.

And I know, that no matter what, when I let go of the critic and fall in Love with gratitude, I will be living on purpose, responsible for me, myself and I. Taking action to create more of what I want in my life.

It is my choice. My gift to give and receive.

I am responsible for living on purpose.

Bless them. Forgive me.

I am filled with grace.


Valerie Kamikubo said...

What a wonderful blessing to read your post this morning!

Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you Valerie!

I am grateful for your presence on my path.

Joyce Wycoff said...

You sure don't give us much room to blame the world for anything. ;-) Thank you so much for this reminder. I love this post ... and the MJF quote.

Bless them. Forgive me.

Maureen said...

In gratitude. . . and with a hug.

S. Etole said...

As always, I walk away {figuratively!} both convicted and smiling. That's a gift you have, you know!

Anonymous said...

like a sunset
blending colours
from blue to peach