Thursday, November 17, 2011

What do I fear?

It was repeated several times at meditation last night. The last lines from Marianne Williamson's oft quoted piece, Our Deepest Fear (A Return to Love)  


"...And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 


The conversation after the session drifted in and out of talk of love, of fear, of letting go. We touched on us and them and the other and the same. 


 And the question of 'What do I fear?" drifted into the emptiness of my mind in stillness. 


 What do I fear? Good question. 


 I fear feeling insignificant. I fear being ridiculed. 


Do I?


 I fear... And I hesitate. No words rise through the darkness that appears when I think of fear.


I dislike cruelty. Posturing. Abuse. I do not fear them.


 I dislike people being unkind. Bullies. I dislike seeing animals mistreated. Children starving. There is much that I dislike. Much I find distasteful. 


 But what do I fear? 


 I fear feeling small. 


 And if I take off the last qualifier, I become my fear of feeling. 


I fear feeling.


Cut back to the bone, strip away the skin, peel back the sinew and the veins and I find myself amidst the skeletal remains of my fear of being -- nothing. Cut out the tissue. Skim off the blood and get to the guts of what I fear.


 What is it? 


 What is my biggest fear?


 Not being loved. Not knowing love? Losing love? 


 But love is limitless.


 Love exists 
as only love.
 Love is.

I am afraid 
of losing
I fear
losing
 the ones I love
 the things I love
 I am afraid. 


 But I cannot lose Love so I cannot fear losing the one's I love for even when they are gone, love continues, love exists, Love is. Infinite. Limitless. All.


 There is nothing
 to fear 
for Love is
 Love 
no matter 
what fear
rises
to hold me
back 
where I feel
nothing
but
Love. 


 I cannot separate Love with fear. I cannot divide it with 3 parts fear one part avoidance.


 Love can
 never be
 divided.


 Love is
 and there is 
nothing 
to fear
here
where 
Love is
everywhere.

4 comments:

S. Etole said...

I can't help but be reminded of the scripture that says perfect love casts out fear.

Joyce Wycoff said...

There is such love all around you that fear has no room to edge its way in. May tomorrow bring you everything you could wish for as you bestow your great love on everyone there.

Fi said...

This one got me thinking - what do I fear?

I fear not living long enough to do all of the things I want to.

I fear feeling inadequate

I fear being ridiculed.

Love? Love is what gives me the strength to overcome my fears and be the best me I can be

Fi said...

This one got me thinking - what do I fear?

I fear not living long enough to do all of the things I want to.

I fear feeling inadequate

I fear being ridiculed.

Love? Love is what gives me the strength to overcome my fears and be the best me I can be