The Holy Pause

I am breathing. Deeply.

I am feeling. Completely.

That which I breathe.

It is a simple equation. A deep reflection of time, in this moment right now where I breathe and feel time moving within and around and about me. Where I become completely each breath I breathe without time stealing away that which I breathe into - this moment right now.

I am breathing.

In her article, The Holy Pause: Spiritual Practices for a Time-Obsessed Culture, Abbey of the Arts Abbess Christine Valters Paintner suggests we give ourselves holy pauses throughout the day. Mini sabbaticals from the hectic chaos all around, the Holy Pause allows us to breathe and take a moment to become fully present in the now, without life's busy-ness confusing us with its insistence we get things done, check off our lists and get to where we're going faster.

I am breathing.

I pause. A Holy Pause. A pause of anticipation. Filled with expectancy, the pregnant moment expands and gives birth to my presence here. In this moment where anticipation rests and I embrace what is without looking for what more.

I am breathing.

It is challenging, this being present in the moment. Staying connected to the Holy Pause and its call to reflect, refresh and renew my soulfulness.

My mind skitters, a thousand fragments of light fracturing the moment with tantalizing strands of possibility.

Go this way.

No. That.

Take this. No. Do that.

what about...

Oh yes, what about that idea that just careened into view, its entrails steaming with the desire to pull me from the Holy Pause into doing something about, that glittering whim of a notion.

I am breathing.

I feel the pull. The yearning to move away from my breath into doing something other, something more than just being mindful of the stillness within each breath.

There are tears here in this place of stillness. Tears and a sadness that surfaces only when my mind gives way to my thinking about what it can fill itself up with to avoid the stillness and the sadness of struggling to avoid this moment right here where I listen, deeply, to my soul's cry for silence.

It is in the silence I find my heart beat. It is in the beat of my heart I find my soul stirring, reaching out to the longing of the present moment unfolding. In this moment I feel the joy of giving myself up completely and with abandon to the wonder and beauty and awe of being in this breath right now unfolding within me.

I am breathing. Deeply.

And with each breath I become part of the circle of life flowing all around me.

I inhale andI am filled with life-giving oxygen. The breath enters my body and becomes transformed into Divine and holy life.

I exhale and my breath becomes part of the Divine existence teeming with life all around me.

I am immersed in the Holy Pause filling my being present here with an awe that transcends knowing as I become one with the world around me.

In that Oneness I become each breath, co-creating my being present in this world of awesome beauty.