Tuesday, April 17, 2012

In the moment of where I am

In this vast space nudged up against the Rockies, spring comes late. This week, snow fell, ice melted. Water flowed. The first delicate pussy willows burst open. 
Spring is in the air.
Still nippy, the spring air brushes my cheeks with a tint of cool and I remember. YES! I am alive.
What a glorious, spectacular, sensational feeling.
I walked along the ridge over looking the river, the Rockies shrouded in billowy grey clouds clinging to their ridges with the tenacity of winter snow clinging to the edge of the river waters flowing freely. Ellie, the wonder pooch, and I walked down the hillside, sliding in the mud and grit. At the bottom, Ellie ran into the river and splashed about as I built a rock tower at the edge of the water, a guardian of the river's journey to the sea, a talisman for my heart.
We climbed back up to the ridge and I searched for signs of spring amidst the grasses turning green. And yesterday, I spied my first crocus of the year pushing its way up through the earth. 
I sat on the ridge, let the cool breeze caress my cheeks as Ellie snuffled in the grasses. I'm sure she was a horse, or maybe a cow in a former life. She eats grass with the same vigilance.
I sat on the ridge and meditated, letting my body sink into ease and tranquility. I sat on the ridge and let my thoughts flow out like the river flowing below me. We are on the easterly side of the Great Divide here. Waters flow into Hudson's Bay, thousands of miles away. I thought of the waters flowing, ever flowing eastward, into the Bay to mingle with the waters of life flowing all around me.
Water doesn't flow backwards, my eldest daughter once said to me. 

We can never go back. Always forward. Always moving effortlessly through this moment to the next. Like the river below, flowing ever onward towards the sea.
I cannot go back in time. I can only be in this moment. Move from this moment forward to arrive at another moment in time, in the future. Never in the past.
"The point of traveling is not
to arrive but to return home
laden with pollen you shall work up
into honey the mind feeds on."
R.S. Thomas
The point of all this traveling is not to 'arrive' writes R.S.Thomas.
I sit on the ridge and imagine, if I were a traveler arriving here in this moment, what would I see? Sunshine filtered through clouds. Winter grass turning green. A woman. Sitting quietly on a ridge. A golden haired dog wandering through the grasses. A river flowing. Trees standing silent sentinel along the ridge. Golden grasses blowing in the breeze. And life. Every where life. Moving. Flowing. Being.
I sat on a ridge and let the sunsoaked air breathe upon my skin.
I sat on a ridge and knew, no matter where I was, I am home within myself when I let myself be present in the moment of being where ever I am.


Maureen said...

I think you'd enjoy Mark Nepo's post from yesterday:

I'm taking a workshop with him on Saturday.

Louise Gallagher said...

Seriously? You are? ON Saturday?

Oh my. I'm envious!!!!

thanks for the link. A beautiful and stirring piece.


I want to hear all about the course when you're done! Pretty please!

Josie Two Shoes said...

I loved this post, it ties in with my thoughts on "I AM _____." I AM HOME! What a wonderful, peaceful concept, and indeed that's the way I feel about my life now, I have come full circle and I am home within myself. It's a great place to be! Beautiful post! I love your visual images, we get to share in the beauty of your outdoor adventures with Ellie!

Speaking of which, thank you for your question on my One Question Wednesday post. Here's one for you if the spirit moves you to answer it at some point...

What is the story of Ellie's relationship with you, how did she handle the hard years, and how do you see her changing as she gets older?

Glynn said...

Would you believe that I am reading poems by R.S. Thomas right now?

Fi said...

Love your words today my friend - and I love your dog!
My bliss times are walking on the beach or by the river with my new furkid.
Water, the great outdoors and man's best friend. All the elements for feeling at peace with the world.
I'm a big believer in onwards and upwards - no going back, only learning.

S. Etole said...

Feeling this air through your words.

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks Josie -- and hmmmm.... your question will take some pondering -- but I shall respond!

Louise Gallagher said...

That's amazing Glynn -- very cool. I really like him.

Louise Gallagher said...

So true Fi! the fastest route to peace of mind is walking with a furkid along the beach!


Louise Gallagher said...

How lovely Susan.

Anonymous said...

you will miss this place

and it will miss you

live the river, you will move forward toward something

the river spill over the falls, churns through rapids and eventually reaches the sea .... falls again as rain on mountaintopsand does it all over again in an endless cycle of life

you, cat like, have had many lives and will have more

a chapter appears to be closing

what happens in the next one?



Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you Mark. It's a good thing friendship is not space dependent! I value yours.

Megan Willome said...

Oh, I love that quote, especially since I'm just back from a trip!