Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Judgments hurt

Something has changed in how blogger notifies me of comments, and I keep finding comments in my notifications that I thought I'd approved but somehow didn't get posted! My apologies if I seem to be ignoring comments. It's more that I am slow to adapt to Blogger's new ways of doing what they've always done and suddenly changed!

Which, is what got me thinking about inner-speak. When I discovered this morning that there were several comments not posted that I had thought I had posted, my inner voice got busy.

"How rude, Louise."

"Seriously, you are such an.... idiot, fool, incompetent... Pick your favourite word, my inner-judge likes to pick many.

The affirmation for the week in an online "Soul Coaching" course I am taking is, "My evaluation of myself is not who I am."

Hmmm....  it's not?

You mean, I'm not really who my inner critic tells me I am?

That's right!  You're not your judgments!


Being self-critical does not serve me well. Judging myself as a loser, incompetent, or any host of negative feedback the critic likes to deliver, does not strengthen, nourish or nurture me.

In any self-assessment there is that place where absolute honesty is essential to growth and healing.It feels at times like an oxymoron. Be honest. Be kind. -- what if in my honesty I find myself lacking? Is it kind to point out my areas of lack if I'm being honest?

Don't judge how you judge myself.

When I know I've acted out, being kind means that in my honesty I must name what I've done. It does not mean I have to name myself as less than, or other than, who I am as a human being.

Behaviour and my human essence are separate. Behaviour can be changed, worked on, modified. My human essence is fundamentally 'good'. It is light. It is beauty. It is life.

Where I am in my life is not as important as the judgments I make about where I am, or how I am in my life.

Judgments hurt. Me. Those I judge outside of me. The world around me.

Judgments limit my experience of being all I am meant to to, all I am when I let go of judging how I'm doing and moving into accepting that in this moment, I am doing my best.

When I honour my intention -- to be a kind, caring, loving human being -- and accept that sometimes, my actions turn up on the dark side of the curtain -- I love myself in all my complexity, light and dark, yin and yang, beauty and the beast, shadow. When I let go of judging myself, I step into the sea of healing that is all around me.

I discovered I missed posting some comments on my blog this morning. I didn't intend to miss them. My intention is that I honour the people who connect with me here.

And I do.

My commitment is to continue to do my best, to figure out how to work with Blogger's new way, and to continue to honour those who share their thoughts by posting and commenting and engaging in the conversation.

Thank you everyone who posts a comment. Thank you everyone who reads. I appreciate your presence and your light on my journey.



Maureen said...

Some perfectly acceptable comments to posts have gone in my spam folder for reasons unknown to me, and I still can't get a Save function to work (I noticed many have complained to Blogger about that) and so can't update a section of my blog. I keep switching from old to new view on Blogger, knowing the new will become permanent soon. Change is great when it's helpful and desired; not so much so when it's just for the sake of change, and yet we all somehow adapt and continue moving forward.

Your posts are always appreciated. We all know what a great host you are, and how you honor us by always responding.

Anonymous said...

I have run into a few glitches and inconsistencies on my blog as well. Perhaps the WWW is overwhelmed with information??? It always surprises me when you write about your inner judge voice because I find you to be life-affirming and full of joy and am always blessed by you.

S. Etole said...

Blogger keeps us all guessing at times. Blessings as we adapt!

Louise Gallagher said...

thanks Maureen -- I've done the same thing too! Switch back and forth but now, I'm sticking with the new because as you say -- it will be permanent soon!

Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you Diana!!! I am all those things, and I can also be my judgmental self too! :) that's when self-forgiveness and compassion are critical. What I've found is I don't get stuck there as long as I did in the past! and that is a blessing :)


(You are a blessing in my life too!)

Louise Gallagher said...

BLogger must like to keep us on our fingertips!

Thanks Susan -- lovely to see you.

Becky Sain said...

Let me start by saying, you are the nicest most thoughtful person.
This is such a great sentiment, message.
We are our worst enemies.
Thank you for the reminder to be kind to ourselves.

Fi said...

I would never consider you as a bad host or as rude because of the thoughtful way you write and respond.
The inner critic - boy is she harsh sometimes. I'm wondering if yours knows mine and whether they compare notes ~grin~
Have a great day my friend!

Anonymous said...

It's hard to separate honesty from judgment sometimes, isn't it? All we can do is do our best to be kind all around, I guess!

Nikky44 said...

Thank you So much Louise for this beautiful post, and thank you very much for your comment on my Blog too.

To be honest, I was missing your comments as they always come from the heart. I also judged myself and thought, maybe my posts are not good enough? Maybe Louise doesn't like my way of thinking? maybe.... what if I have hurt her in something I said?
Self judgement sometimes destroys, but other times only help you to improve.
I just nominated you for the Versatile Blogger and Beautiful blogger awards! You can check it on my latest Blog post!