I am a 10

The question was, On a scale of 1 to 10 where would you rate your life today?

The answer appears simple, pick a number lesser than or equal to 10 and that will give you an idea of how happy you are with your life today. Of how much energy you're putting into living every day completely.

I do not know what I do not know.

If I pick 10, what's beyond? Will I live everyday at 10. What if there's an 11, or 53 or 110? Where do I go when 10 is where I'm at?

It was a question that popped into my mind yesterday when that question was asked. I aim to live my life at 10. The 10, for me, means, I am living each moment with dignity, grace and truth. It means I am turning up for me, in all kinds of weather, and being the best me I can be.

The number is not magical. Nor is it concrete. It is an indication of how satisfied I am with the effort I am expending to living my life in freedom. In the act of picking a number less than 10, I am playing a self-defeating game, I am letting myself off the hook of being totally, completely, absolutely responsible for every aspect of my journey today.

When I awoke this morning I felt sadness settling on me like the snow blanketing the earth outside. Cocooned in my blankets, I asked myself, where is this sadness coming from? What is its purpose? Can I live at 10 when I feel sadness within? The weather is always at ten. It is constant, whatever it's doing, it does it the only way it knows how -- as weather. If some days my moods reflect the weather, can I always be at 10 too?

When the seasons turn, what will make the difference to the beauty in my garden is how I prepared the earth for spring's awakening. What did I do last fall to ready the garden for renewal in sprintime?

In my life, how I respond to the weather is dependent upon my inner peace. When I am walking with peace of mind, the weather does not reflect my state of being. I do.

Sometimes, like the earth beneath the snow, I need to rest. Sometimes, I need to accept the weather exactly the way it is and move through the day as a 10 in cloudy weather.

In the journey to self-awareness, I have to continually face and acknowledge my truth. I cannot heal or change what I do not acknowledge. In acknowledging what ails me, hurts me, harms me, I step into my courage to change, to cultivate new awareness, new perspectives that create more of what I want in my life, and less of what doesn't work for me.

This morning sadness settles around me like a blanket of snow. It will melt. It will evaporate. It will disappear. While it's here, I need to listen to the quiet within me, feel my heart beat, get in sync with the earth's harmonic resonance beating around me. Reach into my core and be the 10 I am meant to be.

I don't know what caused the temperature to fall and this drastic change in weather. Why it had to snow on April 1, I don't know. I do know the result is bad driving weather, lots of accidents, road closures and homeless people left out in the cold.

As I write, my heart beats, blood flows, possibilities awaken and sadness thaws. Joy surfaces as I acknowledge the bad weather isn't within my control -- it's how I respond that makes the difference. Grey clouds block the sun, but the sun still shines above.

Sometimes, cloudy days are a sign that I need to rest, go slowly, slow down, pay attention, be present. In the moment. To the moment. Be of the moment.

I take a deep breath and feel my body awaken. I am here, in this moment, experiencing all that the moment brings.

Whatever the weather, I am a 10.