Something magic happens every time I step into the Choices seminar room (http://choicesseminars.com). I hear my heart's song, and in its beat, I feel every fibre of my being come alive as I take flight and fly free.
Several years ago, my then 13 year old daughter asked if we could buy some canvasses so she could paint. Sure, I said, and then proceeded to pick up a brush and put paint to paper with her.
What a revelation. Suddenly I discovered a passion and a talent for something I had spent most of my life saying I was incapable of doing. With each dab of paint, I proved myself wrong about something I had held as my truth -- I have no artistic ability. With each brushstroke, I broke free of that self-limiting belief into acceptance. I didn't know I had artistic ability. Now I do. Today I paint with passion. Today, I get to experience the joy and wonder and peace of immersing myself into the creative process by revealing the stories that unfold every time I explore the surface of a canvas with the colours of the rainbow on my palette. With each brushstroke, I set myself free.
I wonder what other self-limiting beliefs I tout as truth hold me in place for fear I might fall, or make a mistake, or look foolish?
On Sunday, I attended the spiritual service at Choices. While sitting in the room, waiting for the service to begin, one of the trainees was telling me about her fear of claiming her unique voice.
"I can't do__________," she said with conviction.
"Have you ever done it?" I asked.
"No," she replied.
"Than how do you know you can't?"
She paused and thought about her answer. "I don't." We both smiled at her response.
A few minutes later the service began and our conversation settled into memory.
Until the pastor started talking about the story of my life. He wasn't specifically speaking about my life, but I could feel the chords of my heart vibrating in harmony with his words. He spoke in broad strokes about our spiritual journey on earth. About the gifts we come into the world with, and the cuts and bruises we acquire along the road that hold us down. About the untruths we tell ourselves because we fear our flaws will prevent us from claiming our right to be the awesome, magnificent, inspired creations of God we are designed to be.
And with every word, he was speaking about me.
I started painting several years ago and found a palette of my life I had never before used. I discovered colours and strokes and images and beauty I never dreamed I could create.
As I listened to the pastor, I thought about my self-limiting belief that had held me back from believing I could do something that brings me so much joy, so much peace.
What if my self-limiting beliefs about God are designed to hold me back? I wondered.
What if my fear of stepping into the void is keeping me from flying free?
What if, the hole in my heart can only be filled by a Love so great it encompasses every human being on planet earth, every star in our solar system, every limitless possibility of life?
What if I am the magnificent creation I am destined to be?
My belief that I cannot let go of my fear of God keeps me yearning for a love so great I cannot see the miracle of me reflected back in the eyes of those who love me and whom I love.
My belief that I cannot step into the never-ending story of love written long ago and carried through the centuries in the teachings of the Bible, holds me tethered to my fear of letting go of what I know so that I can explore what I don't know. What I know is so tiny compared to what I don't know. Is that what scares me?
As I sat and listened and experienced the words the pastor spoke, I felt the steady quiet beating of my heart within me. I felt tears tickle the back of my eyes, slip gracefully over my eyelids and slide down my cheeks. I felt my body ease into the possibility that I am a woman of wonder as I connected to the awesome wonder of everyone in that room. Like a child learning to take her first steps, I felt the possibility of the Truth inch its way into my heart. Tears began to flow like a warm shower of love inside me. I felt the constricting bands holding my fear in place begin to melt and fall away as the spirit within me awoke to the awesome truth. I am a Child of God. A beautiful, magnificent creation reflecting the wonder and glory of His universe when I breathe life into the miracle of all that I am meant to be.
An extremely wise and beautiful woman later expressed what I felt when she said, "I want to show everyone they are so incredible they take God's breath away."
May you journey through your day knowing the miracle of you is expressed in everything you do because you take God's breath away.