Monday, March 24, 2008

Breathing deeply

Yesterday, I did a cleanse in preparation for a colonoscopy today. Now that's fun!

Okay, so I'm kidding -- not about the cleanse, I had to do it. Just about the fun part.

But, there was a moment when my learnings from the experience of healing from my encounter with a psychopath came in handy.

Part of the cleanse is to drink 4 litres of a foul drink over a period of several hours. Each time I'd have to drink a glass, I'd gag. But, I had to do it.

Just like when I had to heal from his abuse long ago. In those first days and weeks of release from that relationship, my mind did not want to let go of the fear of him. I had to remind myself, that was then, this is now. He is in jail, thinking of him is all in your head. Breathe, and take this step forward. And I did.

The essence of my healing was, I have to do it for me. It may be hard, but it doesn't have to hurt. How I go through it is up to me. My choice. My experience.

Yesteray, each time I had to drink the cleanse liquid, I'd remind myself, I'm doing this for peace of mind. It is a necessary part of the procedure tomorrow. Balking at it is all in my head. Breathe and do it.

Four hours and four litres later, I was through the worst of it.

In life, there are always things we need to do but fear the thought of doing them. Fear is the construct our minds create to hold us back. Breathing through it, acknowledging we have the power to do it -- that keeps us free of fear.

And now I'm off to the hospital for the morning. I'm not looking forward to the procedure but I know I have the power within me to maintain my peace of mind. I know that by breathing deeply I will remain centered and calm because that is how I choose to go through this process.

I take a breath. Deep. In. Out. Breathe.

The question is: Are the choices you're making this morning ensuring you will journey through your day in harmony or discord? Are you remembering to breathe?

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