My friend CZ wrote on her blog, The Narcissistic Continuum, "real change changes reality".
Being the curious type, I went in search of data to support, or not, this hypothesis. In my search, I came across an interesting site, The Bell Curve. At a university thousands of miles away, a geiger counter is set up beside a radioactive source. In the experiment, anyone with web access, and JAVA installed on their computer, can test the power of their thoughts by focusing on the red line at the center of the geiger counter, and making it move, left or right, through their concentration.
I don't 'know' why it works. I do know, the red line moved.
The power of the mind to create real, lasting change, has the power to change my reality.
When I look back to almost five years ago when I awoke from the despair of being lost in my own life, I knew my reality had to change. I knew asking 'why' he did what he did would only keep me mired in what he did. I knew asking 'why' I fell so far from grace would only keep me from moving into grace with ease and dignity.
I had to make a choice. Accept my reality as it was, and then, focus on what changes I needed to make to create the reality I wanted. For lasting change to happen, I had to accept he did what he did, and focus on what I wanted to create in my life, within my mind, my heart, my soul and within my circle of love which included my daughters, family and friends. To focus on the 'why' I was so sick, so battered and bruised, or why I was so lost, at a critical stage of my recovery would have inhibited my ability to create a change in my state. 'Why' would have kept me stuck in the moment of being lost.
In simple terms, I was down. I wanted to get up.
Any thoughts that kept me down, were contradictory to my desired goal of getting up.
By focussing my thoughts on my goal, every step I took brought me higher. And the higher I got, the further away I moved from the abyss of my despair.
With distance, I have been able to look back at those events and understand what happened. In looking back from the distance of healing, I am not at risk of falling back into the despair of not understanding what happened. With my changed reality, I am no longer a victim but a victor in my own life.
Napoleon Hill, in Think and Grow Rich, wrote, "What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve."
My mind knew I needed to heal my thinking so that I could change my life. My mind believed I could. Today, my thinking is far different than the thoughts of that woman who thought she was taking a shortcut to happiness and got lost on the road to hell. Today, my reality has changed. Where once I wanted to die, today I live in a world of compassion and love. I celebrate my life and dance in a world of joy.
My road is no longer moving in the direction of hell. It moves continuously towards my goal of living life large. Living life, a victor, the heroine of the journey of my lifetime.
The question is: Where does your thinking keep you stuck in a reality that doesn't work for you anymore? Where does your thinking tell you that where you're at is where you have to be, even when you don't want to be there?