Thursday, April 24, 2008

Doing well that which doesn't need doing

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way."

I have stood in my own way too many times to count.

I have stood behind me, pushed, pulled, tugged, beat, and abused me in order make change happen, and always, it was me standing in my own way of change that was preventing the possibility of it happening. Pummelling my psyche into submission does not make change happen. Embracing myself, fearlessly examinining the possibilities of my life, and breathing into my courage allows my reality to shift enough for change to happen organically, gracefully and lovingly.

"Real change changes reality." CZ

A real change I'd love to see today is in the weather. Haha. Ain't gonna happen by my wishin' and hopin', hopin' and prayin'.

It's still snowing here -- how ridiculous is that, it's April!

I can't change the weather. I can change my attitude.

I don't like snow in April. However, railing against it only makes me angry and spoils my day. Ultimately, the universe doesn't care.

It's time I adopted a more zen like approach to the weather. I breathe and remind myself, this too shall pass.

All things come to pass. All things pass.

Weather, like emotions, change.

It isn't the weather that makes the difference, it's how I respond.

It's not my emotions that change my life, it's how I respond to my emotions that makes the difference.

Today, I breathe and let the weather be the weather. I have better things to do with my life than to try to change something I know I cannot change.

A friend said yesterday, "There is nothing more useless than doing efficiently that which should never be done."


I can think of thousands of things I've done well that I never should have been doing in the first place.

Expending energy doing things that don't need doing, no matter how well I am doing them, is a self-defeating game. It keeps me stuck in 'doing' so that I can avoid 'being'.

I do non-confrontation well. Silence is my game when faced with a situation where I know to speak my truth will cause a negative response in the listener. And so, I sit in silence, holding my thoughts in my head as I perfect the art of saying nothing.

In my silence, I am lying. To me and to whomever I'm with.

I had it happen yesterday in a meeting where someone insisted on telling me why something couldn't work. After an hour of listening to them list the reasons why it couldn't work, I chose to leave the meeting rather than disagree.

That is not healthy for me.

My commitment with myself is to turn up, pay attention, speak my truth and stay unattached to the outcome.

I'm way too attached to the outcome when I let fear keep me from speaking up.

It's time to live my contract. -- I am a fearless woman.

The question is: Where are you doing well something that should never be done in the first place? Where are you living a lie?

1 comment:

CZBZ said...

I've been thinking about the little Quip that flew off my keyboard the other day. I didn't pay it that much attention at the time but ever since you brought it to my attention, LOL, I've been thinking about what i meant.

"Real change changes reality."

And you know, Louise, real change is not Forced change which means we probably won't even notice it when it happens. We can act as if, talk as if, think as if but the crucial moment of transformation is not an act of forced will. That's what I thought about yesterday...

At a certain point in my life, the old blinders of childhood fell away and my perspective on life changed instantly. It was kinda like growing up. Do we remember the exact moment when we stopped viewing life as Black & White and started seeing technicolor? Psychology tells us a broader perspective is part of maturation but who can say when it happened? It's not a noticeable change and yet, it changes everything.

I think this is how it works for adults, too.

For me, I felt a bubbling cauldron of irreconcilable emotions which propelled me to read books that for whatever reason, seemed to leap off Barnes and Nobles bookshelves. The first one I read nearly twenty years ago, was a book about Oppression and Liberation. I had no idea the impact this would have on my life but it spoke to my heart even if it was academic, dry and UN-emotional. Just information. Education. Awareness of oppression as a means to control The People.

Over time, the information rooted in my psyche and my perceptions of reality changed without willing it to change. If that makes sense.

Needless to say, this 'change' was the beginning of the end of my marriage.

So, even if that quip is simplistic, it is probably accurate to say "Real change changes reality".

And one more thing to add: We can NEVER go back. Well, we can silence ourselves, repress our truth, pretend in order to maintain the status quo, etc. But if we are honest with ourselves and refuse to deny truth (reality) because of fear, we can NEVER go back to the way we were.

Reality changes because we change.