Giving myself a break at golf

One thing a weekend at the lake can do is make me pretty relaxed. Tension eases. Stress evaporates and the world looks shiny and new.

It was a lovely weekend. Good friends. Great food. Wine and laughter. We played cards. Sat by the water. And, I played my very first round of golf ever!

Thing about golf is -- it's all in your head.

I did well the first 12 to 13 holes. Stayed focused. Relaxed. Hit a couple of good shots. Didn't take it too seriously. And then, round about the middle of the 14th hole I started thinking about how many holes we had to go. I was tired (we'd gotten in late the night before, had a late dinner and played cards to past midnight). The end of the course look a long ways away. My mind drifted from where I was at to how far I had to go, how many shots I had left to play. My swing became erratic. My hands hurt. Neck ached. Feet yearned for the last green as I blasted my way through where I didn't want to be in the rough without thinking about where I was at in my game. It was my first game ever -- I didn't have to prove anything!

The game lost its lustre. The mountains faded from view. The river along which we were playing lost its sparkle.

We were playing with another couple. L.B. and her husband, G. I like LB's style. "I don't keep score because I'm not playing to beat anyone. I play it to improve my game with each round. If this hole isn't going well, I sit it out. If my ball isn't somewhere I like, I pick it up and move it to where I want it. I don't need to stress myself out trying to hit shots I don't yet have the capacity to make. I de-stress myself by giving myself lots of opportunity to hit well."

I played through the 14th, teed off on the 15th and changed my last name to 'ManyShots'. Decided it was time to sit back, relax and take in the scenery. I drove the cart. C.C. played through. On the 15th green, I had my best putt yet. Didn't matter that I hadn't played the hole, what mattered was I played to my strengths not my weaknesses.

Teed off on the 16th with a strong hit, started falling apart further down the fairway. Decided to sit out the rest of the hole. By the end of the 17th, I knew I was finished. I made the decision to simply enjoy the day. To watch the other three play through and to enjoy the incredible vistas of the world around me.

All in all, a great game of golf. A great morning in the sun, laughing and joking, enjoying the companionship of good friends and the opportunity to learn something new.

Golf can teach me a lot about living in the moment. No matter how hard I swing, if I take my eye off the ball, I lose sight of my goal. If I swing just for the sake of swinging, I get out of balance, stressed out and tired out. And, when learning something new, I need to give myself permission to play bad, to call it quits when I'm tired out and to step back and reflect on how well I've done to get as far as I've gotten -- and to not chastise myself for not doing it 'right' the first time out.

I was there to enjoy the game. I was there to encourage myself to keep playing. I wasn't there to make a point of finishing all 18 holes. I was there to enjoy each stroke I took. And I did.

The question is: Where do you push yourself to get involved even when you know you need a break?