Friday, September 5, 2008

100% responsible for my experience

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny. Author Unknown
Pick a habit. Any habit you've got.

Ask yourself, is this working for me?

Be honest with yourself. Is doing what you repeatedly do taking you closer to your goals, or away from them? Is it getting you more of what you want in your life, or less? Do you ask yourself, why do I keep doing this. Do you tell yourself, I should stop doing this and then do it again?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask yourself, why am I making myself a victim in my own life?

We all do it. We all suffer from victimitis at some point in our lives. Some of us do it more often then others -- but we all do it.

When things aren't going right for us, when life is leading us astray and we blame -- the government, our neighbour, our spouse, our children, our past, our lack of education, money, space..., anything or anyone with whom we've come in contact, then we are choosing to diminish our power, choosing to lessen ourselves and our capabilities. We are choosing to ignore the fact that we can create change in our lives by making different choices.

There's comfort in blaming others. But it doesn't change a thing. Whatever circumstances are upsetting our existence, they will persist, regardless of who we blame. We can't change the pain we're in by willing it away. We can refuse to suffer. We can choose to claim our right to think differently about the circumstances of our lives. To change our attitude. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Right now I'm encountering an area at work where I am feeling 'less than'. I work for a not-for-profit. I choose to do so. I love my work. Love the environment I work in. I enjoy the people I work with and the people whom I serve. But....

And there's that but. But, I'm underpaid. My job title is not appropriate. Yada yada yada.

Now, there are 5,342 reasons why it is the way it is, and there are 5,342 people and things I can blame for my reality. -- Truth is, I choose to work there because I love working there. If I feel my pay or title is diminishing me -- I need to do something about it. I need to choose to accept it isn't the pay nor the title that diminishes me -- I diminish me when I let outside circumstances determine my worth. Being disgruntled with where I'm at provides me some psychological comfort. It undermines my capacity to be 100% accountable for my experience. It's up to me to reflect upon my attitude, change my state and create peace of mind.

If I go back to my value system -- what is important to me -- I will find my answers. I believe in what I do. I believe I make a difference. I believe what I do is important for me, adds value to my life, the organization I work for and the people whom I serve. I believe what I do is vital.

If, in that equation I find myself feeling undervalued -- it's up to me to make a stand, ask for what I want or, move on. Change position. Change my state by finding somewhere else where I can make a difference.

To make it more complex, what if I look at where I'm at as a means of avoiding where I want to be? What if, I am using where I'm at as an excuse to not take the next step. To not leap? What if I'm 100% responsible for my experience and I'm choosing to stay where I'm at because... it's safe. It's familiar. It's comfortable.

What if...

The question is: What if, you are 100% responsible for your experience and you are choosing to live in discord within your very own life? What if, you are choosing to make yourself a victim by blaming others for where you're at? What if, you were to choose differently? What if you were to let go of the discomfort of suffering where you're at and choose to look at yourself, and your circumstances, in a different light?


Anonymous said...

LG, that's a lot of 'what if's' for a Friday morning . .

YOU CAN have it all. YOU CAN

sometimes we get frustrated by the actions of others - not much we can do about that; our own actions we have a little more control over

we (I do anyway) tend to talk about what is in my mind . . then, after a while, I start doing what I am talking about . . it is a process - sometimes slow - that seems to work; sometimes we left FUD get in our way too

FUD means Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt . . silly notions really, but they so often cloud our good judgment

happy weekend to you . . call me soon to discuss publishing some more of your pieces


M.L. Gallagher said...

Hi Mark - I spent the past three days in a meeting and didn't get a chance to call -- Thanks for your comments -- I love the idea of FUD -- we used to have a term PUD -- pent up demand -- when launching a new product there was PUD to consider.

Let's talk -- feel free to edit and send my way!