Different than you imagine

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. Aldous Huxley

When I began the art program at the shelter where I work, I didn't have in mind an outcome, a preset destination that would clearly be achieved, a place that said, 'we've arrived. Been there, done that, all finished.'

No. The purpose for starting the program was pretty simple. A church had donated some money towards an art program. I like to paint. Why not buy some supplies, come in once a week and paint with anyone who would like to come and paint with me?

I didn't know who would turn up. Or even if they'd come back after appearing once. I only knew what painting does for me. The underlying truth about myself I'd embraced when I'd picked up my first paint brush a few years before and discovered a passion I didn't know I had and uncovered a lie I'd told myself about myself all my life -- I have no artistic talent.

If I could be wrong about the things I tell myself I can or cannot do, was it possible others could be wrong too? Was it possible the opportunity to be creative with a brush in hand might awaken someone's spirit and shine light on their self-imposed limitations?

Yesterday, I had coffee with a friend to talk about a documentary I want to create. "You can't change the world," he said when I told him about the art show on Sunday.

"I don't want to change the world," I told him. "I want to change my role in it. I want to be less passive and more actively involved in awakening human beings to the beauty of the spirits at the core of their being."

"But if someone doesn't want to change, you're not going to make them change," he replied.

I laughed. "I'm not powerful enough to make someone change. But what if by changing how I see me in the world around me, the world around me sees the possibility of change in a different light?"

My daily world is spent working in an environment where people have little. Where beliefs about who they are and what they are capable of achieving are limited by their beliefs in where they 'fit' in the world around them.

Being homeless may not be a comfortable fit, but it does become comfortable when someone grows accustomed to the limits of their comfort zone within the world of homelessness.

In homelessness, as in life, there are a 101 stories we tell ourselves, and anyone who will listen, about why we're at where we're at and why we can't change our position for all the tea in China. If we spent as much energy exploring how we can change as we do talking about how we can't change, we'd find ourselves in very different circumstances.

I had a belief that said, I can't paint. I changed my position by changing what I do. I picked up a paintbrush and made a stroke onto a canvas. That one stroke has led to a passion that restores my sense of balance, my harmony with the world around me whenever I want. All it takes is one stroke upon the canvas and I am transported into a place of peace, calm and serenity. I am connected to my creative core, alive with the realization I am a creative being on a journey of her lifetime.

In changing my belief about myself, I made it possible for me to begin an arts program at a homeless shelter.

Not something I ever would have imagined.

It wasn't a goal. It wasn't a dream. It was simply a possibility that opened up because I believed I had artistic ability and I wanted to share my passion for the craft with anyone who cared to join me.

In my world away from homelessness, I have occasionally invited friends to join me in painting. Few take up the brush. Usually their response to my invitation is, "I can't draw a straight line." "I'd be embarrassed to even try." "I tried painting when I was five. I was awful."

We don't know what we don't know.

I didn't know twelve years ago when I picked up that paintbrush that it would lead to an art program in a homeless shelter. I didn't know it would lead to an art show where homeless artists would sell work that would claim space in someone else's home.

I didn't know what I didn't know.

I only knew it seemed like a good idea. I knew that having a space to paint would be a change from the daily grunge of biding time from morning to night, waiting for something to be different at the shelter. I knew an art program would be different. I didn't know what a difference it would make.

The question is: Are you buying into the story you tell yourself about why you cannot change? Are willing to focus your energy on Yes I can? Are you willing to awaken to the creative possibilities of life being different than you imagine?