Flowing in the current of life

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard

This is my dream.

I am crossing a desert. Looking for signs of life. I come to the edge of a river. I am hot. Tired. Lonely. Scared. On the other side of the river I see people dancing on the sands that edge up against a beautiful forest filled with flowers and birds and luscious fruits. The people call to me. They wave and yell, "Come on over."

The current is fast. The water dark and deep. I am afraid to swim across. Seeing my fear they throw me a rope. I grab onto it but am still afraid to step into the waters. They tug on the rope and I slip and enter the river.

It is cold. I fight against the current. Fight against the tug on the rope. I see the people waving, calling out to me to hold on, they will pull me in. But I don't want their help. I don't want to be where they are on the bank of the river. I want to explore the lands further down.

I let go of the rope. The water pulls me. I fight against it. I grow tired. And then, the thought enters my mind that I must surrender. I must quit resisting the rivers current and flow with it, not against it.

A beautiful peace envelopes me. I drift upon the waters and am carried gently to a place further down the shore. A place of such spectacular beauty it takes my breath away. I step onto the shore and feel the silky texture of the sands beneath my feet. The warmth of the sun upon my back. The kiss of the breeze upon my cheek. I am in paradise.

And I awaken.>

Yesterday, I received an email from C.W. a fellow writer, voyageur, reader, woman of heart or as my friend CZ would describe her, a WOW (a Woman Of Worth). In writing back to her I talked about happenings around my household. About comings and goings and in particular, some of the changes that have transpired with the new dimension of C.C.'s son, T., living with us.

We have been a household of women for quite sometime. Even Ellie the wonder dog is a girl. C.C.s male energy has been an adjustment. It's a welcome energy, but it does require some getting used to as we expand to accommodate his different perspectives, different habits -- including the habit of watching sports on TV!

At twenty, T. brings to our household a vibrant, youthful, testosterone driven energy that changes the ebb and flow of the house. It's not that it's unwelcome. It is that it is different. As Liseanne describes it, "I'm used to living with my sister. Not a boy."

I wrote to C.W., that one of the things I was learning as the household dynamics changed was to "flow gracefully in the current of life."

Like the woman in my dream, I have been resisting life's natural current, the ebb and flow of energy pulsating around me, through me, in me. I have been fighting against the current, trying to make it fit me. To mold it to my design. To fit it into a box of my construction.

It's time to surrender and flow gracefully in the current of life.

When I let go of the ropes I use to manipulate, control, manage life around me, I give into the flow of life, its natural tendency to support me, lift me up, carry me onward, make me part of life flowing endlessly.

Like a drowning man fighting against the waters, my resistance has been dragging me under, undermining my ability to float on the surface and be carried gracefully with the current to where ever I need to be.

When I flow with the current, I am one with the waters. I am free to dive beneath the surface, swim with the fish, explore the depths or rest gently on the surface, flowing with the flow. I am free to let the waters carry me as I let go of my need to direct their course and take their destination as a matter of course.

I can't change the course of the river. I can change my course to let myself flow in the current of life, with grace and ease, peacefully stepping onto the shores where ever they find me, joyfully swimming in the waters of life buoying me up with their laughter, song, dance and love.

The question is: Are you struggling against the current, swimming upstream, battling against the flow? Are you willing to surrender and flow in the current of life?