Being human

The human condition is such that pain and effort are not just symptoms which can be removed without changing life itself; they are the modes in which life itself, together with the necessity to which it is bound, makes itself felt. For mortals, the ''easy life of the gods'' would be a lifeless life. Hannah Arendt

This morning, as I did my daily meditation, the thought entered my mind, "What do I need to forgive myself for?" With barely a breath taken, a profound shift happened within me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt anxiety begin its acidic churn in my stomach.

"Be not afraid," my inner voice whispered. "Fall into the tears."

I let myself fall into stillness. I let myself drift upon the current of my fears. "What are the tears about?" my mind asked. "Why do you cry over such a simple question?"

Sometimes a simple question opens to the deepest pain and the greatest learning.

My mind watched the tears fall and as I let myself fall with them, I asked myself again. "What do I need to forgive myself for?"

For not being perfect, my mind replied. For not being good enough.

That is the human condition, my subconscious replied.

Then I forgive myself for being human.

Deep within me is a tape that runs itself ragged whispering in my subconscious, undermining my efforts. "You should have known better," the insidious voice whispers. "You should have known better."

It is the voice of my inner critic. My know it all self who likes to play havoc with my dreams. Who likes to sabotage my efforts to be my most magnificent being by telling me I should have known better than to not be my most magnificent being. I should have done it right the first time, as if growth were not necessary on this journey. As if learning was not an essential part of being human.

It is the voice that makes me smile this morning as I acknowledge the absurdity of its cries. I cannot know better until I accept I do not know what I do not know. I know nothing about my human condition other than what my mind tells me. And when part of my mind is telling me I should know better than.... to be, or do, or say whatever I was or did or said, then I'm in for a bumpy ride!

This morning, I dance in the light of being human. This morning, I forgive myself for thinking I had to be anything else other than human. I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know, what I don't know. I forgive myself for not knowing better than to be the very thing I am, the very being that I am. Human.

This morning, I embrace my human condition. I celebrate my human being and joyously sing my praises. I am a human being, doing everything I can to be all that I am meant to be -- and that includes my laughter and my tears, my confusion and my knowing, my certainty and uncertainties, my being and my doing.

And sometimes, that includes forgiving myself for believing I had to be perfect. I am perfectly human in all my imperfections.

This morning, I dance in the joy of knowing, when I take myself too seriously, I lose sight of the gifts I receive every morning in my awakening. I am alive. That's good enough for me!

The question is: Are you taking yourself so seriously you think you have to be perfectly human with no imperfections? Are you holding yourself up to a state of perfection that only the Divine can achieve?