Building Bridges

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi

Communication is a powerful bridge that connects us to the people with whom we are building relationship. The bridge will only be as strong as our willingness and capacity to stand with soft hearts and open minds in the presence of another.

There are so many instances in my life where I can see how my impoverished communication skills built weak links with someone else. Where my inability to understand another's needs, wants, desires, weakened the sturdiness of the bridge between us.

I'm learning! It's the greatest part of being human. Our ability to learn and grow and adapt and incorporate new information, insight, learning.

Ain't it grand to be us!

The other day, one of the gentlemen who comes to a course I teach at the shelter where I work, came into my office and said, "You know that stuff you're always talking about our childhoods and how until we're conscious of how we repeat childhood behaviours in our adult lives we'll keep doing it?"

"Yes?" I said.

"Well, it's so true." He stood in the doorway, his mouth set in a straight line, his head bobbing up and down.

I invited him to come in and sit down. "How's it true for you?" I asked.

"Oh. In so many ways." He pulled a small piece of white paper from his back pocket. "See this?" He didn't wait for me to answer. "This is my card from that Passion Test thing we took with you. My top passion is my daughter and granddaughter. Being a good dad and granddad. If I'm keeping myself stuck here it's because I'm still doing stuff that keeps me here. And that's all stuff that's not good for me. It's stuff from the past. I gotta unlearn the past."

"That's pretty insightful," I replied. "Tell me more."

"Well, I figure my bad behaviour is attached to that little boy who used to get beat up by his dad. If I can quit beating up that little boy, I'll be on the road to getting out of here," he paused. Smiled. "And staying out of here."

I love watching miracles unfold before my eyes.

What a wonderful gift to hear this man's truth spoken with such clarity and passion. What a gift to be a witness to his awakening.

To be honoured with someone's truth, to witness their heart's opening, their willingness to be vulnerable is a sacred trust. To honour that trust, is the journey of my lifetime.

The question is: Can you stop for a moment, take a breath and ask, What kind of bridge am I building? Do I honour truth by building upon a foundation of sacred trust?