Sunday, March 29, 2009

Turning up for me.

I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met. Dwight Lyman Moody
Snow covers the ground in a blanket of wintry white, and I wonder and I wonder, oh where oh where has spring time gone? Perhaps we should start calling it, Sprinter, or maybe Wring.

Weather aside, the temperature inside is cozy. I sit at my desk and survey the wonderland outside. Snow sugars the branches of the pine tree. The hedge is coated white, birds twitter from branch to branch.

Yesterday morning, I gave The Passion Test to clients, staff and friends at the shelter where I work.

Once again, I am in awe of the human spirit to compel each of us to claim our light and shine bright!

As we worked through the test, a lively conversation took place around 'self-sabotage'. One of the participants, a friend and fellow coach from Choices, said, "I'm always sabotaging myself. What's with that?" she asked.

A client piped up. "Me too. I don't like it."

"Then stop doing it," I replied.

"But why do I do it?" they both chimed in. Heads around the table nodded. "Yeah, why do we do it?" someone else asked.

"Why is the sky blue?" "Why do birds fly?" "Why does water flow?" I asked.

Why is the question that keeps us stuck in inaction. Why let's us off the hook of doing.

Action engages attention. What I put my attention on grows stronger in my life.

When I ask myself questions that keep my mind spinning in circles, my attention is on spinning the answers to fit the question. Because I'm stuck in my mind, circling the wagons around what I know, often avoiding 'truth' riding in with a whoop of freedom, I keep coming up with the same old answer, "I don't know". In I don't know land, I find myself repeating myself again and again, mirroring my words with actions of ineffectiveness.

When I let go of the 'why' and focus on 'what'. What do I want. What kind of person do I want to be. What's the right thing to do, my mind quits spinning incessantly as I engage in doing the right thing to create more of what I want in life.

One of the trainees yesterday, a talented artist and musician, spoke about having been named in some pretty famous company as an artist many years ago.

"And then I got scared," he said.

"Scared of what?" I asked.

"I don't know," he replied. "Maybe success."

"What if what you were really scared of was turning up. For yourself. For your talent. Your art. For those who admired you. Counted on you. Looked up to you. What if turning up was not your habit and so, you turned down, once again, the opportunity to shine."

He scrunched up his face. "I gotta quit doing that don't I?"

"Yup. And only you can stop it. At this moment in time, the why is irrelevant. Just stop it. Choose differently. Choose in favour of your passions. Choose in favour of 'life'."

What I find most inspiring about the class is I learn so much. I see myself in other people's stories. I see myself reflected in their angst, their fears, their dismay.

And I get to let it go and turn up for me.

I get to stake my claim on greatness. Stake my right to live this one wild and passionate life fearlessly in love with me. All of me.

In listening to their stories, I learn and I get to grow.

For today, in whatever you do, choose in favour of having more of what you want in life. If your mind is telling you, oh don't bother to clean out that cupboard. Or don't meditate. Don't bother to make that phone call, or write that letter, or apologize for something stupid you did last night. Stop listening!

Start tuning into what's good for you. Start firing up your imagination and letting loose your greatness.

Only you can stop beating yourself up for past events. Only you can stop circling your mind, looking for different answers in your head.

Life is happening outside your mind. It's out here in the universe of possibilities. Get moving. Get cracking. And, get living it up!

For today, in whatever you do, turn up for the best of you!

The question is: Are you willing to let go of the 'why' and tune into the 'what'? Are you willing to do what's best for you today?

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