Friday, May 29, 2009

Dancing in the light

Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress. Alfred A. Montapert
When I was a little girl I had one of those heavy plastic rocking horses that was attached by coils to a metal base that kept the horse grounded. I could sit on my horse, bounce up and down, sideways and front and back. I loved that horse. The motion. The joy of sitting and bouncing and riding.

My rocking horse never made any progress in the physical sense of getting from Point A to B, but I sure could make it ride across plains and continents, oceans and skies. Every time I rode I experienced some new and exciting adventure. I was Annie Oakley, the Lone Ranger and Tonto all dressed up in one. I moved around the world, saving children and dogs and civilisations from sure destruction. I was all powerful.

My rocking horse was my escape from the world in which I lived. The world around me which I didn't understand, or didn't make sense, or simply was too complicated to grasp.

As I grew, I had to let go of my rocking horse. My body became to big for it. We moved too far away to take it with us. Without my horse, I had to find some other way to escape the world around me -- escape being the operative word. I never wanted to get off my horse, so I created a mighty steed within my mind who could transport me away from the world in which I lived into a world that made sense to me. A world that ideally suited me. A world in which I had control. I had power. A world where I was all powerful because, well, I was writing the script. I controlled every scene, every word, every action. I determined who was there, what they did and said and what happened. Cool!

Now, I loved my imaginary worlds when I was a child. They were fun! Problem is as an adult, escaping into scripted scenes within my head is not an effective way to live my best life yet. Scripted scenes where I control the people, places, actions, scenes and words are not a reflection of the world around me. They are a reflection of what I want to have happen, what I believe could happen -- if everyone and everything in my world did what I thought was best, or right, or simply acceptable to me!

And that just ain't the way the world works because often, the rocking horse world in my mind becomes a wild ride upon my high horse of self-deception. Armed with my quiver of judgement filled with arrows of complaint, criticism, and condemnation I take aim at gentle hearts and opening minds and pierce balloon's of possibility with my conviction that I know what is best for the world around me.

I must admit, I have clung to many a high horse in my adulthood and run roughshod through many a delicate blossom of life unfolding. I have sat upon my mighty stead trampling other people's feelings and perceptions with the heavy footed destruction of King Kong stomping through New York.

And always, when the ride was over, I have fallen off my high horse in a fit of embarrassed consternation that so much destruction could be created in such a short, wild ride.

High horses, like rocking horses do not get me anywhere other than where I don't want to be. Eating sawdust in the not so OK corral of my mind, grovelling in the mud of guilt and disappointment.

The good news is. Dismounting from my high horse of yesterdays, I am progressing. I see the progress I've made. I celebrate my empty quiver of judgement. My arrows of criticism, complaints and condemnation are sheathed and I expand into the moment, filled with the joy of fearlessly embracing who I am when I let go of clinging to the neck of my high horse and dance in the lightness of my human being.

I am at peace in my heart, my mind open to the wonder and beauty of the world around me.

In my wide eyed wonder of being all of me, I see all of you.

You are beauty. You are light. You are a magnificent human being.

The question is: Are you riding roughshod over the world around you, or are you dismounting from your high horse, peacefully embracing the wonder and joy of the world around you, dancing in the lightness of your human being?


Anonymous said...


a PS to my earlier comment; this quote might interest you: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option' – unknown

On another day - when things are calm, when your thumb is better - ask yourself that question.


Anonymous said...

It is useful to try everything in practice anyway and I like that here it's always possible to find something new. :)