Friday, July 2, 2010

You are beautiful.

Perfection

The second you stepped into this world of existence
A ladder was placed before you to help you escape it.
First, you were mineral; then you transformed into a plant;
Then you became an animal.(How could you not know this?)
Then you changed yet again, and became a human being
Endowed with divine consciousness, reason, faith.
Look at your body, made from dust: what perfection it has!
Jalal-ud-Din Rumi(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)


My friend Jack* is one of the bravest people I know. A successful business man, years ago he lost everything and wound up in a homeless shelter. People blamed it on an addiction, but Jack is much too honest to accept that. It was anger, really deep burning anger, that drove him from his corner office and expense account. Anger and a fear of feeling it.

I had lunch with my friend recently. And, as always happens when I have the privilege of sharing someone's light, I felt lifted up, inspired, and peaceful after our encounter.

Jack is a courageous guy. And courageous people always inspire my courage to rise up.

Awhile ago, he told me that he'd realized that his path had always been a suicide pact with life. I held onto the dark-side because it was killing me, he said.

A lesser man would have sunk into despair. Given up. Given in to the darkness and sunk beneath the weight of its insistence, there is no light worth shining. A lesser man would have avoided going directly into the darkness. A lesser man would have let the darkness consume him.

Not Jack. He stayed in the darkness. Let it surround him. Let it engulf him.

I couldn't get over it, he said. I had to go through it.

And through it he did.

When I got out of that relationship that was killing me, I too knew I couldn't go around the feelings. I couldn't get 'over' the happenings that had driven me so far down I prayed every day for the 'bad man' to end my life for me. I couldn't get over it. I had to go through it.

Going through it is scary.

Going through it is exhausting.

Going through it is the only way to the other side of that place I didn't want to be.

When I got out of that relationship I was mired in sadness. In depression. In wanting to die and knowing I couldn't.

I had to set things right. I had to help my daughters heal.

I couldn't get to healing by avoiding the feelings that made me unwell. I had to dive into them. Expose them. Live them fearlessly in the light of knowing -- they are only feelings. They cannot kill me unless I let them fester within me.

Feeling the feelings is not always easy. But it is necessary if we want to be free of feeling less than, other than, rather than the miraculous and magnificent human beings of our birthright.

Feelings the feelings is essential -- whatever the feelings. They don't have to become you. They just have to become a part of your journey into the light of knowing -- you are perfect in all your human imperfections.

Whatever you're feeling today, Let it Be. Let it be part of your journey, not part of you. Let it be what it is and regardless of what it is, set yourself free to be -- your most amazing, magnificent and perfect self, exactly the way you are.

God knows, You are beautiful.

4 comments:

Kathleen Overby said...

Listening.

katdish said...

Wow. Just amazing, Louise. Seriously.

S. Etole said...

Oh, yes ... we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Maureen said...

Because you shine your light... others are helped to find theirs.

Namaste.