Monday, August 16, 2010

Getting fit

The view from my walk with Ellie
Actually putting some time aside every day to quiet the mind is the first step. We have created the busy life we have precisely because we do not want to stop. We inherently know that stopping will require us to "feel' our life and that is exactly what we have been avoiding. Chandra Alexander

I am up and about and ready to go this morning on my quest to 'find my ribcage'. You know, that place from where Adam supposedly donated a piece of bone in order to create woman. Which, I have to tell you makes me wonder about our forbears. Do they really think a man was capable of enduring the pain of having a piece of ribcage removed so that woman could be created? I mean really, women endure childbirth because women don't complain about pain... :)

Ok. ok. Just kidding.

Well, sort of.

But I am off in search of my ribcage this morning. I've signed up at a local gym and am committed to workout with a personal trainer three times a week for the next month -- and of course, the days in between I'll work out by myself.

My goal is to awaken my cellular memory that loved to workout everyday (once upon a time). In its awakening I believe I'll reconnect to that place where being fit is the only way I want to live. And, I am still carrying this excess poundage that is starting to a) bug me big time, and b) starting to wear on my joints! It's time.

It all came clear to me through meditation. I am taking a course on Sounds Like Soul meditation. Entering that place of quiet everyday I was struggling to overcome my monkey mind chatter. I mean seriously. Big time struggle. Monkey mind chatter was consuming me. Depleting my energy. I kept trying to 'let it go' and it kept running circles through my mind. and then, the truth hit me. It's not holding onto me. I'm holding onto it. What's with that? I'm holding onto something that does not serve me well.

Like weight.

In the process of awakening to 'my deeper truth', I realized that my desire to carry extra weight stems from my desire to not examine those parts of me where I still carry the trauma of the past, holding onto those things that don't work for me anymore, or at least, those things that limit my experiencing life in all its beauty and abundance and joy and wonder.

In my meditation last week, pockets of sadness kept seeping to the surface, flowing in a continuous stream of 'I can't get no, satisfaction', (as Mick Jagger would sing). Monkey mind chatter kept picking at my peace of mind with its insistence that being still would leave me exposed to risks I dare not take.

But I do. Dare to. I do dare to risk 'the quiet' to find that place where I am at peace. That place where I am feeling all that I am without fearing all that I am. At One with the One. Being a co-creator with life expressing itself through me, with me, because of me.

When I let go of monkey mind chatter, I sink into that place that is pre-verbal. Pre-awareness. Pre conscious thought. In the quiet,I feel myself opening up. Expanding. Widening. Becoming. Woman. Evolutionary. Generative. Becoming all of me beyond the boundaries of this body. Beyond the thinking of this mind. Beyond the knowing of these thoughts.

In that quiet place I become all of me. The all of me when I am not being the ego self of me, myself and I.

and in that place I know, I am the source of my agony. The source of my giving myself away. The source of my disconnect. And discontent.

I am source.

As source, let me express myself in ways that celebrate all that I am, open to the creative possibilities of my life.

I am the midwife of my unmanifested potential.

I am harmony. I am wholeness. I am a creative force.

and... I'm finding my ribcage. Separating myself from false belief and falling into the deeper truth of who I am.

I am a radiant woman awakening brilliance in a world of wonder.

And... I'm getting fit.


PS -- that view... it's a five minute drive from where I live. How blessed am I?


Joyceann Wycoff said...

You are not only blessed ... you are a blessing. This post went straight to my ribcage and asked me to look at what it is that is making me hold onto, and even gather more unto me, excess pounds.

I feel an echoing post coming on. ;-)
Thanks for leading the way.

Maureen said...

That view is lovely!

This post spoke to me, too, to get rid of the excess weight of thoughts. I've heard that exercise also is great for getting rid of that.


Anonymous said...

this reminds me...i need to clean out the attic above the garage one of these days. peter keeps throwing things up there...and we have been in this house for 20 years come december. i really don't know how that twenty years went by in five.

dee said...

You are a blessing as well for me!

Thanks for reminding me of the "monkey" thoughts that just do not want to let go. I'm working on it, but at times that also feels like I'm fighting and/or running away again, trying to distract myself.

I'm going to find my ribcage again too.



M.L. Gallagher said...

Hello Dee -- lovely to see you! And your ribcage!

I'm feeling mine -- not because they've become visible but rather -- because they're sore!!! :)

But it's working -- out -- as expected and I feel so much better for it.