Friday, September 16, 2011

One fine morning...

I am content. I am sitting in bed, laptop on lap, Ellie, the wonder pooch, lying beside me (sorry C.C., But what am I supposed to do? She just jumps up and takes your spot when you're not here!)

Coffee steaming in my favourite mug. Sun streaming in through the windows. Birds chirping at the feeder.

Marley, the Great Cat, is playing with one of his stuffed mice in the hallway. I hear him pounding along the hardwood floor. Batting into walls. He races into the bedroom. Ducks behind the door. Grabs his toy and whips back out to the hallway.

At least. I think it's his toy.

Somewhere in the back quarter of my mind, a thought drifts slowly into view.

"Sure doesn't sound like his normal play with a stuffed toy."

I keep working on my laptop.

"He sure seems to be kinda active with this toy."

I read some more. Take a sip of coffee.

"Remember the last time he played with one of his toys like that?"

Another sip of coffee. A moment to contemplate the garden.

"It was a..."

STOP! Don't think that.

Ellie sighs in her sleep. Rolls to one side, curls her body up.

"But... last time it was..."

"I know. I know. But we haven't had any incidences in two years. Not since the arrival of The Great One."

Slurp of coffee. I peer towards the door. Listen some more to Marley's antics in the hall.

"Better go look."

I sigh. Uncurl myself from the bed. Walk towards the door. I peer down the hallway. Spy Marley, on the floor, inches from the bedroom door.

What I don't see is a red or green or bright yellow stuffed mouse between his paws.

What I do see is a black furry ball.

It moves.

Marley pounces.

I scream.

Marley looks up at me. "What? Isn't this what you hired me for?"

"Yes! But not when I'm home and in bed. Couldn't you at least wait until I was out?"

The furry black ball which is not a toy but a real live mouse sees his opportunity to escape. He runs towards me. Skitters between my feet and into the bedroom. Dashes behind the dresser.

Marley races into bedroom. Runs from one end to the other of the dresser.

I high tail it back to the bed.

I am not getting out until the vile little creature is caught, I yell at Marley.

Marley paces along the dresser. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Ellie sleeps.

I am not getting off this bed, I repeat, until you remove that thing.

He ignores me. Keeps pacing.

I look for weapons. The bedroom is particularly devoid of mice killing implements. I curl up beneath the blankets.

Ellie keeps sleeping.

Marley keeps pacing.

I am not getting off this bed until the vile little creature is caught.

I'm still here.


Ellie sleeps.

And Marley...

Tired of the cat and mouse game has retired to the love seat for a nap. This protecting hearth and home from vile little creatures is tiring business.

Ellie rolls over. Looks at me through one half-opened eye. "Could you keep the noise down please? I'm trying to sleep."

I think of pushing her off the bed. I think of replacing the word 'curl' throughout this post.

I think of the mouse under the dresser.

I am not getting off this bed until that vile little creature, even if he is one of God's children, is caught!

Marley stretches his body. Yawns. I think of throwing a shoe at him, or maybe my coffee.

He keeps sleeping.

Good thing he's so cute. Otherwise I'd fire him on the spot!

Anyone know of any good mouse catchers?

I am not getting off this bed until the vile little creature is caught!


Anonymous said...

my wussy friend,

suggest you advertise for a cat that 'eats mice' rather than one that simply 'catches them'



Louise Gallagher said...

LOL -- great advice Mark -- but I'm sure in this house, even a mouse eater would realize the food is plentiful in his dish and playing with moveable food is so much fun!

Have an awesome day.

I've made it off the bed, dressed and ready to go out the door.

marley is locked in the house... and he won't get out until he catches that vile little creature!

Maureen said...

I like Ellie's approach. Marley will be waiting to bring that mouse to you when you least expect it. Be sure to reward him well.

We have lots of bunnies here, fortunately outside the house. The dogs, knowing the hideouts, go crazy every time we step out. Last year, we had a rather rangy wolf that since has found a new home; he got a bit too close to the house for my comfort. Deer remain occasional; squirrels, more than plentiful, are the suburbs' rats.

S. Etole said...

This makes me smile! Not your discomfort but the remembrance of similar situations here.

Claudia said...

we had lots of mice when we were living in a very old farmhouse for some years..and there was the neighbor's cat who loved to put the mice she caught in front of our door...ugh...

Joyce Wycoff said...

Sometimes days just don't turn out the way we planned ... but you brought a smile to lots of us.

Alyssa Wright said...

My little girl, Cookie, is a mouser. In the old house, she also annihilated a family of bats (who needs an exterminator?). Sadly, she brought one of them to me as a present -- I can still remember waking up, seeing something grey on the pillow, preparing to pat it, then... ugh!!!

Although, I much prefer the dead things to the only-half-dead things. Stay in bed until Marley completes the job!

Anonymous said...

lol! good story :-)

Fi said...

It's fairly obvious we share similar feelings about rodents.

I hate it most when my cat leaves me a 'present' on the front door mat -ewwggh!