Rain Dance -Tera Zajack
In the Absence of You
I am dancing
barefoot
my tears falling
unseen
in the rain
streaking
down
hard and fast
against my red dress
billowing
out
outside
in the rain
you danced
barefoot
and I held
hard and fast
to my rules
you’ll catch the death of a cold
I said
and you knelt down
and took off my shoes
and we danced
barefoot
together
and you laughed
and I said
Watch out
and you said
don't stop
look and listen
to the rain
nothing can hurt you
when you're dancing
in the rain
with me
and my bare feet felt
the cold hard cobblestones
trembling
I stopped
and you danced ahead
urging me on
and I cried,
Stop
but it was
too late
to stop
look
and listen
before you cross
the street
empty now
I feel the absence
of you
dancing
in the rain.
This poem was written using the prompt provided over at dVerse poets and Brian Miller. The fantastic poetics prompt Brian has cooked up features four Tera Zajack's paintings along with an interview of the artist herself.
Let yourself be inspired. Visit dVerse poets and be part of the magic.
An addendum:
Maureen inspired me to record In the Absence of You. also, when I was a little girl, I learned a verse to protect me when crossing the street. I make reference to it in the poem -- which for those who don't know it, was from a Safety Bear whose name I forget but whose verse I've never forgotten:
Stop
Look
and Listen
before you cross the street.
Use your eyes
and use your ears
before you use your feet.
In the Absence of You
12 18 2011 9 05 AM by Louiseg88
An addendum:
Maureen inspired me to record In the Absence of You. also, when I was a little girl, I learned a verse to protect me when crossing the street. I make reference to it in the poem -- which for those who don't know it, was from a Safety Bear whose name I forget but whose verse I've never forgotten:
Stop
Look
and Listen
before you cross the street.
Use your eyes
and use your ears
before you use your feet.
In the Absence of You
26 comments:
This is so sad!
really nice progression in this...the rules vs the care free...the look before you cross to the dance...i thought for sure this was going to end being hit by a car...but i think not, but still feel the loss...nice...
beautiful dancing words in the rain.
love the rhythms and word flow.
:)
very fine take on the prompt..the control freak and the carefree dancer..they need each other ...love the scene when he takes off your shoes and then the loss..but still you dance on..
Louise,
Two people with dreams of their own. Oblivious to the rain but connecting and enjoying it until..... Sometimes good things can come to an abrupt end. Great write!
Hank
Captures the essential sadness of life, I feel.
it is sad MZ -- yet, what I found hopeful is -- she is dancing in the rain now...
Thanks Brian -- I really liked your prompt and the interview.
I thought that would be the end too... and then, I wasn't so sure :) and decided to leave the ambiguity
Thanks Morning!
Thanks Claudia -- you were my inspiration.
Thanks so much Kaykuala
I like how you worded that Dave -- the 'essential sadness of life' -- it was what I felt in the photo.
The lines -- Stop. Look. and Listen. come from a childhood rhyme -- Stop. Look and Listen before you cross the street. Use your eyes and use your ears before you use your feet.
In some ways I read this as being about one and the same person, the side of us always wanting or needing to be in control and the side drawn to the risk of letting go. It's always a struggle between the two.
The poem is poignant. Would love to hear you read it.
And sometimes we need to stop, look and listen with our hearts, too, eh? Nice poem. Thanks!
-tera
Fabulous observation Maureen -- it is both external and internal and it is always the dance between the two.
PS -- thanks for your inspiration to record and your comments :)
I love your perspective Tera -- to use our hearts as the gateway to what is happening in our world.
Thanks!
it's like you have to torture yourself because of the absence. that's so chilling.
i love your read of this.
I, too, thought it was the same person ... very meaningful hearing it read.
This is my favorite:
"my tears falling
unseen
in the rain"
~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)
Sad and lovely !
Wonderful poem, Louise. I'm so taken with the fact that these pieces posted for us to write to this week seem to be of old villas, Italy or France. I wonder what the attraction is for the artiste? xxj
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your favs Shawna. Lovely to meet you.
Thank you Zongrik -- there is a certain pain associated with breaking free, with letting go and setting loose the freedom to dance in the rain!
I so appreciate that you felt the ambiguity of POV Susan. And it was fun to read it! Hugs
Hi Jen -- great observation. And I wonder too... what is the attraction -- or perhaps it is that they are so 'romantic' they lend themselves to poetic response? Hugs
Thank you Ayala. I'm glad it touched you.
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