Saturday, December 17, 2011

In the Absence of You (a poem)


Rain Dance -Tera Zajack 


In the Absence of You

I am dancing
barefoot
my tears falling
unseen
in the rain
streaking
down
hard and fast
against my red dress
billowing
out

outside
in the rain
you danced
barefoot

and I held
hard and fast
to my rules

you’ll catch the death of a cold
I said

and you knelt down
and took off my shoes
and we danced
barefoot
together
and you laughed
and I said
Watch out

and you said
don't stop

look and listen
to the rain

nothing can hurt you
when you're dancing
in the rain 
with me

and my bare feet felt
the cold hard cobblestones

trembling
I stopped

and you danced ahead
urging me on

and I cried, 
Stop
but it was
too late
to stop

look
and listen
before you cross

the street
empty now

I feel the absence
of you

dancing
in the rain.

This poem was written using the prompt provided over at dVerse poets and Brian Miller. The fantastic poetics prompt Brian has cooked up features four Tera Zajack's paintings along with an interview of the artist herself. 

Let yourself be inspired. Visit dVerse poets and be part of the magic.


An addendum:


Maureen inspired me to record In the Absence of You.  also, when I was a little girl, I learned a verse to protect me when crossing the street. I make reference to it in the poem -- which for those who don't know it, was from a Safety Bear whose name I forget but whose verse I've never forgotten:  


Stop
Look
and Listen
before you cross the street.


Use your eyes 
and use your ears
before you use your feet.


In the Absence of You

12 18 2011 9 05 AM by Louiseg88

26 comments:

Mama Zen said...

This is so sad!

Brian Miller said...

really nice progression in this...the rules vs the care free...the look before you cross to the dance...i thought for sure this was going to end being hit by a car...but i think not, but still feel the loss...nice...

Morning said...

beautiful dancing words in the rain.
love the rhythms and word flow.

:)

Claudia said...

very fine take on the prompt..the control freak and the carefree dancer..they need each other ...love the scene when he takes off your shoes and then the loss..but still you dance on..

kaykuala said...

Louise,
Two people with dreams of their own. Oblivious to the rain but connecting and enjoying it until..... Sometimes good things can come to an abrupt end. Great write!

Hank

Dave King said...

Captures the essential sadness of life, I feel.

Louise Gallagher said...

it is sad MZ -- yet, what I found hopeful is -- she is dancing in the rain now...

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks Brian -- I really liked your prompt and the interview.

I thought that would be the end too... and then, I wasn't so sure :) and decided to leave the ambiguity

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks Morning!

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks Claudia -- you were my inspiration.

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks so much Kaykuala

Louise Gallagher said...

I like how you worded that Dave -- the 'essential sadness of life' -- it was what I felt in the photo.

The lines -- Stop. Look. and Listen. come from a childhood rhyme -- Stop. Look and Listen before you cross the street. Use your eyes and use your ears before you use your feet.

Maureen said...

In some ways I read this as being about one and the same person, the side of us always wanting or needing to be in control and the side drawn to the risk of letting go. It's always a struggle between the two.

The poem is poignant. Would love to hear you read it.

tera said...

And sometimes we need to stop, look and listen with our hearts, too, eh? Nice poem. Thanks!

-tera

Louise Gallagher said...

Fabulous observation Maureen -- it is both external and internal and it is always the dance between the two.

PS -- thanks for your inspiration to record and your comments :)

Louise Gallagher said...

I love your perspective Tera -- to use our hearts as the gateway to what is happening in our world.

Thanks!

zongrik said...

it's like you have to torture yourself because of the absence. that's so chilling.

i love your read of this.

S. Etole said...

I, too, thought it was the same person ... very meaningful hearing it read.

Anonymous said...

This is my favorite:

"my tears falling
unseen
in the rain"

~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)

ayala said...

Sad and lovely !

jen revved said...

Wonderful poem, Louise. I'm so taken with the fact that these pieces posted for us to write to this week seem to be of old villas, Italy or France. I wonder what the attraction is for the artiste? xxj

Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your favs Shawna. Lovely to meet you.

Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you Zongrik -- there is a certain pain associated with breaking free, with letting go and setting loose the freedom to dance in the rain!

Louise Gallagher said...

I so appreciate that you felt the ambiguity of POV Susan. And it was fun to read it! Hugs

Louise Gallagher said...

Hi Jen -- great observation. And I wonder too... what is the attraction -- or perhaps it is that they are so 'romantic' they lend themselves to poetic response? Hugs

Louise Gallagher said...

Thank you Ayala. I'm glad it touched you.