I decided this morning to enter my meditation with the intent to be the obsessions I felt when in that relationship that hurt me so much. I don't remember how it felt to be so overwhelmed by another's voice that I yearned, waited, was haunted by the thought of his calling, the need to hear his voice to know -- the world is as it should be and I am in my place.
But recently, several people I know are experiencing the letting go of their obsession and I wanted to stand in the light to support their journey.
It was an amazing meditation.
I saw 'my obsession' as a preying mantis, its huge eyes bulging, its mandibles biting into my flesh, its incisors chomping down on my spirit. I wanted to crush it, to shake it off, to flip it away.
I breathed and held it in the light. I surrounded it in love and In Love it transformed itself. Its spindly legs that angled up on either side of its head became wings and it became a dove. But where it was, there was another, and then another, and then another until every insect transformed themselves into doves and I was surrounded by beautiful white doves of hope, of peace, of love.
And I breathed.
And these birds gathered up the thread of my obsession and carried it up into the wind where it became just a wisp of smoke evaporating like the entrails from a jetliner passing overhead on a clear, blue sky day.
Nothing can withstand Love. Nothing can live when Love is present. There is only Love.
And as my obsession evaporated I knew.
I am free.
I knew it. I felt it. I breathed into it.
And I saw my friends, transformed. I held them in the light, surrounding them with love pouring out all over and they became the light and we were one in Love. And Love was One in us.
There is only Love. And Love is God, the Divine, the Bodhavista, Allah, Yaweh.Whatever name we give it, There is only Love and to Love is Divine.
In Love there is only that which we need to know -- Love. Joy. Laughter. Beauty. Peace. Hope. Mystery. Life.
We are all these things and so much more.
We are never our obsessions. Though our obsessions do become us when we let go of Love and believe someone else can give it to us. Someone else holds the key to our obsessions in their hands or in our minds.
Long ago I believed there was a man who could make me happy. Who could give me the world, make my dreams come true.
In Love, I know, I am responsible for my happiness. I am responsible for my dreams. I am my own obsession in Love.