Wednesday, February 15, 2012

CZ. This one's for you!

Time and healing, time and faith, time and good hearts make anything possible. CZ, The Narcissistic Continuum

Almost 9 years ago I met a woman who's screen name CZ invoked feelings of delight (and sometimes terror because man, can she call bull, bull when she sees it. And she can really see through it!) every time I saw her respond, or write something on the online forum where I belonged. It was a forum (no longer in operation due to MSNs changes in how they ran things) built around the need for women and men who had been in relationships of the highly dysfunctional (aka abusive) kind with a narcissist or psychopath. Membership was not a coveted status -- seriously -- why would anyone want to belong to a group where the only qualification for membership was to have been hoodwinked and abused? But it was a necessary imperative to empower and sustain our healing. So, there we were, thousands of members strong, supporting each other, learning and growing and healing through our shared experiences of these relationships.

And there was CZ. One of the funniest, most articulate writers there, she never ceased to amaze me with her writing skills and her ability to write it straight-out. She constantly floored me with her wisdom and her knowledge -- because wow, did she know a lot about the pathology of these relationships and their impact on the survivors. And, her generosity to share was legendary.

Eventually, CZ set off to create a safe online haven of her own. A forum where cyberwars did not disrupt healing and inter-forum politics did not disturb the natural order of the flow of heartfelt sharing between members.

Her efforts gave birth to her website:  The Narcissistic Continuum and several blogs including the Web of Narcissism (WON) Forum . Her efforts and generosity of spirit have also given birth to a friendship that I value and treasure, even though we've never met, in person. After 9 years of online sharing and emails, I do know CZ. And she is an amazing Woman of Worth. A real WOW!

I was honoured this week by CZ when she posted my TEDxCalgary talk and a witty essay on what she perceives to be 'my achievements'. She definitely knows how to make a girl feel awesome even when she's lost her wings and is wearing a feather duster but no tiara!

I wanted to take this space to thank CZ and to encourage anyone who has been involved in relationships of the not so functional kind to visit CZ's site. Through the incredible resources she shares, you will be inspired to live life free of unhealthy relationships that would make you believe, I am not worthy of more. I am not worthy.

We are all worthy. Thank you CZ for your role in helping me embrace my truth. You're awesome!



Jennifer Richardson said...

bountiful tears
as I stand up inside,
you on!
(you speak as beautifully
as you write)
love your brave heart,

Fi said...

An honour bestowed upon one who so richly deserves it.... CZ says it well

CZBZ said...

I love taking some time each night, to read a few blogs...a few 'mixed' blogs from victim to survivor to your level: thriver. But I didn't expect to see my name in the title. What a lovely surprise this evening. Although it's not evening. It's almost midnight! Now that I'm a single older adult, I can stay up all night at my computer if I wanna.

And lots of nights, I wanna.

You and I have the distinct honor of meeting each other when we were down. Broken. Hopeless and desperate. Barely holding on to our sanity AND our nickels. It was a tough time...really tough.

Watching how our lives have changed since that experience (and NOT for the WORST!), has been a delight, a real miracle. It was tempting to give up instead.

Anyway, thank you for your lovely words, your validation and your support. I love that you know me as well as you do and yet, we've never met in person. Isn't that amazing?!!?