And then, last night I got the message.
|My Vision Board|
vision for our lives this year.
Years ago, I wrote a fairy tale for my daughters called, The Heart Rock. (a young girl with a heart of gold meets a King with a heart of stone and through her love and care, his Kingdom flourishes, proving-- Even a heart of stone can be warmed in loving hands.).
Last night, one of the women said, I collect heart rocks, and she turned to me and said, thanks to you.
And I was reminded of the bucket of heart rocks in the garage. I was reminded of my sense of wonder, my sense of joy, of awe in finding these stones and collecting them and holding them and feeling their warmth and passing it along to another.
Those rocks were more than just hardened earth to me. They represented the magical, mystical, and mysterious aspects of our world. They embodied grace and wonder and the power of Love to heal.
Throughout the 4 years 9 months of the relationship from hell, I continued to collect heart rocks. I continued to hold onto the essence of what they represented, desperate to cling to something that would connect me to the magical, mystical, and mysterious aspects of my being in this world.
And I fell.
And I let go of my heart rocks, and my belief in the wonder all around.
I've written before of my journey in reclaiming what was lost through that relationship and last night, after coming home and hanging my vision board and holding onto a heart rock I keep on my desk -- I knew.
When Conrad was arrested, this was the weight point I was at.
It has been safe for me to stay at, or above, this weight point because in staying here, I have not had to dive into what it means for me to not embrace my full sense of the magical, mystical and mysterious relevance of my being.
Breaking beneath this set point opens me up to limitless possibility.
And I've been resisting it.
I let go.
I let go and pick up a heart rock and hold onto it and set myself free. And in that freedom is the beauty and joy and wonder of my soul's journey back to the light.