Thursday, February 16, 2012

Breaking Free

I seem to be stuck at this weight point. Three days no movement down, but alas, a slight 'uppage' even when I've been following the strict guidelines of the diet to a 't'. I'm frustrated. Wanting to give-in. Wanting to quit. To fall into my set-point of dissatisfaction, "What's the point?"

And then, last night I got the message.

My Vision Board
I was at a Vision Board session with a group of fellow seekers. Our objective, to create a vision board that reflects our dreams/aspirations/
vision for our lives this year.

Years ago, I wrote a fairy tale for my daughters called, The Heart Rock. (a young girl with a heart of gold meets a King with a heart of stone and through her love and care, his Kingdom flourishes, proving-- Even a heart of stone can be warmed in loving hands.).

Last night, one of the women said, I collect heart rocks, and she turned to me and said, thanks to you.

And I was reminded of the bucket of heart rocks in the garage. I was reminded of my sense of wonder, my sense of joy, of awe in finding these stones and collecting them and holding them and feeling their warmth and passing it along to another.

Those rocks were more than just hardened earth to me. They represented the magical, mystical, and mysterious aspects of our world. They embodied grace and wonder and the power of Love to heal.

Throughout the 4 years 9 months of the relationship from hell, I continued to collect heart rocks. I continued to hold onto the essence of what they represented, desperate to cling to something that would connect me to the magical, mystical, and mysterious aspects of my being in this world.

And I fell.

And I let go of my heart rocks, and my belief in the wonder all around.

I've written before of my journey in reclaiming what was lost through that relationship and last night, after coming home and hanging my vision board and holding onto a heart rock I keep on my desk -- I knew.

When Conrad was arrested, this was the weight point I was at.

It has been safe for me to stay at, or above, this weight point because in staying here, I have not had to dive into what it means for me to not embrace my full sense of the magical, mystical and mysterious relevance of my being.

Breaking beneath this set point opens me up to limitless possibility.

And I've been resisting it.

I let go.

I let go and pick up a heart rock and hold onto it and set myself free. And in that freedom is the beauty and joy and wonder of my soul's journey back to the light.



Maureen said...

Is the image of your own vision board? I like "I dance daily, watched or not" and all those other self-descriptors in it.

What a great insight you've made in relating the heart rock(s) and weight point to the relationship.

Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks Maureen -- and yes, it is my Vision Board from last night. :)

Megan Willome said...

Our bodies and our souls are profoundly linked, aren't they?

Fi said...

Vision Boards - how I love these things and the first thing I saw on yours was the dance daily comment as well.

I love reading about the heart rocks - funnily enough 'rocks' are a core theme within our project team - different to your representation though because they're used in a communication context

Anonymous said...

perhaps you have built up muscle tissue from your walks...and muscle is much more dense than fat.

i heard that yoga can slow a person's metabolism.


that's the one i like...

play play play!!!

Joyce Wycoff said...

Love the vision board and the idea of collecting heart rocks. Be good to yourself.

Anonymous said...


as one who tracks his weight daily (been doing that for years) there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it - though plateau periods that might relate to something psychological ... and then I'll break through to a new low when I least expect it. Diet, exercise and my state of mind seems to be factors ... but they don't account for the impact of shopping while hungry, missing a lunch and then eating out the refrigerator in the evening, or the impact of ice-cream or disappointing news on any given day.

Over time, if we eat less and drink lots of water, our weight will go down .... just not at a predictable rate. I suspect Conrad has nothing to do with it . . .


Louise Gallagher said...

Thanks everyone!

I am soooo in love with living,
fat can't get a hold of me!

(my song for today) :)

Anonymous said...

fat gets hold of me too...a good strong hold.
but, this is because i hold on too tightly to other things. perhaps i can learn to loosen my grip.

good deal...