The formula for life

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. Tuli Kupferberg

Many years ago I worked with a woman who held a Masters in Mathematics. She had two hobbies she was very passionate about, bridge and crocheting. Both, she told me, were founded in mathematics. In fact, she said, life is a series of mathematical equations, everything has a pattern to it, everything has a formula.

Hmmmm. Interesting.

Can my life be reduced to a mathematical equation that demonstrates preferences, predicts choices, prevents catastrophes?

Let's see, what would an equation for my life look like?

Well, not being particularly mathematically inclined I went in search of some ideas on Google. I came up with a few sites that suggested creating a formula based on where I fit in my nuclear family, my hobbies, preferences, etc. Using the various models I found, my life can be distilled into the following equation:

[AF:1/6 nuclear family + 18 (dance, music, writing, art)} *3U (poli sci, Japanese, business admin, film studies, pub relations)^ + 25*(sales/marketing/business/communications/investor relations/writing)^ + and a big OH Dear, I haven't got a clue what all this means! until I get to the really interesting stuff from the here and now *6 (inspirational leadership + transformational management + inspiring brilliance)]^female.

Whew! That's who I am!

Okay, so I'm actually just kidding. My mind doesn't think in equations -- it can however grasp a recipe.

If I were to distill my life into the key ingredients of my success it would look something like this:

Recipe for My Life

Mix in a large bowl shaped like my body. Make sure bowl is capable of expanding to allow for bubbles of joy to froth to the top:

12 years of childhood earnestness .

7 years teenage angst

dollops of tears

whales of laughter

9 years of singledom sprinkled with an attempt (or two) at cohabitation including one false marriage attempt

dollops of tears
whales of laughter

thousands of missteps

thousands of steps in the right direction

yarns of learning

10 years of marriage

mix in equal amounts of bliss, happiness, joy, confusion, angst, fear, sorrow

Two incredible, delightful, amazing, wonderful daughters

mix in equal amounts of bliss, happiness, joy, confusion, angst, fear, sorrow,

repeat process never-ending, mixing in only bliss, happiness, joy

dollops of tears

whales of laughter
thousands of missteps
thousands of steps in the right direction

throw in a few struggles and trials and tribulations

infuse with copious amoutns of successes and achievements, accolades and triumphs

Ensure at all times, whales of laughter, bliss, happiness and joy have room to rise to the top.

Get the picture?

There is no formula to life. Only what I make it, or, as Frank Tyger said..."Your future depends on many things, but mostly yourself."

Life can be unpredictable. Life can be filled with surprises. Some pleasant. Some not.

It isn't life's surprises or its predictability that make the difference in my life. It's me. How I move, grow, change, accept, or deny my way through reality. How I look at right now and say, "This is what is. This is what I'm going to do to deal with what is so that I can create what I want in my life."

It is comforting (maybe) to think that there is a formula that will determine my fate. That my future is pre-set by my destiny written somewhere in a giant scroll held in the hands of God or some other divinity.

For me, what is most comforting is to know that whatever life hands me, I'm capable of dealing with what's before me with joy and laughter. I am able to play the hand I'm dealt, with grace and ease, always surfacing with the truth of who I am, no matter the circumstances I land in -- I am a unique child of God, a wondrous miracle of life, living this one, wild and precious life with passion, fearlessly in love with all I am and all I can be when I let go of being anyone other than me!

See, the only thing predictable in the formula or the recipe for my life is me. And the only one who can predict what I will do or say is me -- and sometimes, I haven't paid attention to what I'm doing and saying. In those instances, I've avoided dealing with reality. Avoided taking responsibility, being accountable for my life. When I've done that, the outcome has been predictable. It's always been a disaster -- a learning experience, but not a very pleasant one at that!

When I turn up, pay attention, speak my truth, and stay unattached to the outcome, I can predict that whatever happens will be a subset of the exciting, unexpected surprises that unfold when the miracle of me meets the miracle of life and sparks fly and eagles soar.

That's the magic of living in the now! That's the magic of living true to me!

The question is: Are you looking for some secret formula that will spell out the equation of your life filled with fractions and fractals that add up to predictability? Or, are you into the magic of living true to you, being the miracle of your own lifetime?